(For those just joining us, here’s a brief recap of major issues that arose between January 2000 and April 2001: Red facial rash; swollen, inflamed gum tissue; fatigue; increasing weakness in my legs; weight loss; significant hair loss with bald spots; and the new development of hard white lumps under my skin that caused severe pain. The tentative diagnoses were systemic lupus erythematosis, Raynaud’s syndrome, and hypothyroidism.)
A Photo and a Bag
It was October 2001 and the time had come for me to renew my driver’s license. I adorned myself with a hat to hide the humiliating appearance of my head. The red rash on my face had worsened and my nose was swollen. I had cut my hair to get rid of the straggles but it looked scary anyway.
Mom took me to the DMV. When picture time came I pleaded with the woman to let me leave my hat on, but no, I had to take it off. There I was with no hat, flat sparse hair, red rash and swollen nose. To top it off I had a mark on my forehead from the hat rim.
The woman behind the camera was ready to shoot. I was ready to die. I fought to hold back the tears as I cracked an obligatory smile. Click. Beautiful. For nine years I’ve had that license in my wallet. Fortunately, I haven’t had to pull it out very often. I guess that’s why I never thought to get the photo retaken. Besides, I was too sick to care.
The really sad part about my appearance at the time is that I looked like the actor Michael Keaton as his character Beetlejuice, especially when my hair was freshly washed and stood straight up. That was my perception which might have been slightly distorted through the lens of a broken self image.
On a lighter note, through the pain and misery there were moments of relief and fun. When Halloween arrived, my mother decided that she, my sister, my aunt and I should go trick or treating through the townhome complex.
Back then Wal-Mart used grocery bags that had big smiley faces on them. Mom got each of us a Wal-Mart bag to put over our head. I had no qualms about putting a bag over my head after the incident at the DMV so I willingly went along with the plan.
My only concern was that neighbors might have thought we were killers coming to get them since we weren’t exactly children. And instead of handing us treats they’d call the cops and we’d spend Halloween in jail. In light of this we only rang doorbells of those neighbors my parents knew.
When we rang the first doorbell a man answered. His eyes expanded, his eyebrows rose, his mouth opened and before he could say anything my mother announced, “Hi Bill. It’s Elaine. Trick or Treat!” The shock took a moment to lift. Then a glimmer of light crossed his face as recognition of a name he’d heard before landed on his lips, “Oh, Elaine. I wondered who was at my door. The Wal-Mart bags are cute.”
Whew. See what I’m saying. That was a close call. Bill’s immediate reaction was exactly what I’d feared. Fortunately Mom spoke up before something really scary could happen. To avoid frightening the entire complex we only went to two other houses. These folks appeared equally stunned. At the last house we took off our bags and had a good laugh.
I find it fascinating that during some of the worst times in my life I’ve had some of the brightest moments. That’s God’s way of easing a heavy burden and showing me how to live with peace and joy in the midst of suffering. Only He can make that happen.
THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:
Stay connected for more. There is joy and blessing woven through the trial. But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. Job 36:15
____________________________
Life Happens – Jesus Answers is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org
