Sovereign Comfort
Once the hospital admission process was complete, I was escorted to a private room for final surgery prep. My friend never left my side from the moment she arrived late that morning. While I changed into a lovely hospital gown her husband went to find out if Steve had received the Red Cross message.
Across the room I noticed a table covered with a variety of reading materials including a Bible. I went over to pick up the Bible and underneath was a stack of small booklets. I thumbed through them and one in particular caught my eye. The title was How Can I Deal with My Loss? — A very appropriate title indeed. However, something else jumped out at me from the lower half of the cover. A white Avery label about one inch wide and four inches long displayed the following:
Compliments of:
CH (CPT) Steven Firtko and the 7-101 AVN BN UMT (Unit Ministry Team)
My heart nearly stopped. All I could think was, “No way!” Apparently my husband had been in that same hospital room ministering to a woman who also had lost a baby. Holding that booklet in my hands was like having Steve’s spirit in the room.
This sweet little gift from God proved His sovereignty and omniscience. It was all part of His grand plan for me to be in that particular room. Knowing exactly what I would need, He prompted my husband to plant a booklet with his name on it in the right place at the right time. My God shows up. When He brings or allows something difficult, He also provides a soothing balm to ease the pain.
While my friend and I marveled at God’s handiwork her husband returned with news. Steve had finally received the Red Cross message, but only after it floated around Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, for a while before reaching him at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. Overwhelmed by the blatant stupidity of this, I felt the anger phase of grief rising up.
My emotions were getting a little more unpredictable. Along with the emotional upheaval came hormonal upheaval. I had a good attitude one minute and anger the next. Clearly I was no longer operating on autopilot. Reality came out to bite me once again. But when my friend’s husband got Steve on the phone my fury had to wait. Our conversation went something like this:
S: How are you? Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant? What a shock.
L: I wanted to tell you in person and I fully expected to have an opportunity. This was too significant to share over the phone.
S: You know how I found out? I was sitting in class and the class leader gave me a note that said Your wife is in the hospital due to complications of pregnancy. He told me to go see the Chaplain teacher. So I went to his office, he asked me to sit down, and he closed the door. Then he spoke, “I’m sorry I have bad news. Your wife had a miscarriage.” My mouth dropped open and I exclaimed, “What? I didn’t even know she was pregnant.” Then he excused me from class to get a plane ticket. I’m in Nashville now waiting for my ride. I’ll get there as soon as I can. Love you.
L: I’m going into surgery soon. I’ll see you when it’s over. Love you too.
So he finally knew. What a horrendous shock . . . for both of us. After the surgery I would be glad I persuaded the doctor to make arrangements for me to stay overnight. And God would show up again.
THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:
Dear women of PWOC, I pray and trust that the Lord is using this story to encourage and perhaps challenge you. This isn’t for me or just about me. It’s for Christ and all about how He wants to use it. Please stay connected for more. As always, you may access previous entries in Life Happens – Jesus Answers under “Categories.” Have a Christ-filled week.
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Life Happens – Jesus Answers is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org
