PWOC International Blog

A Final Word

A couple weeks before our move to Colorado Springs, Steve preached his last sermon. It was one I had written that he tweaked to make his own, “The Hands and Feet of Ministry.”

I felt compelled to write it in response to my deep heartache over the lack of concern and compassion I’d experienced from fellow Chaplain spouses and others at Fort Campbell. For the first time in my life I was desperate, helpless, and almost hopeless. Yet, despite my plight being widely known, few people provided real help or even offered to pray with me. I felt abandoned by the body of Christ.

As I sat in the front row of that chapel and glanced around to check facial expressions, no one seemed the wiser. The message was well received. Truth be told, many people who needed to hear it didn’t attend that chapel.

Even though I had written the sermon from a place of pain there was no indication of that. It wasn’t about me and my story and no specifics were given. It was delivered from a heart of love and concern. It simply was a message that needed to be shared. And it could be shared again today – with all of us.

As the service progressed, one of the chosen hymns was “Showers of Blessing.” In light of our compassionate early PCS I felt blessed to be headed back to Fort Carson. But I needed more. I felt as though all I had experienced up to that point were trickles, drizzles, and drops of blessings. I wanted the SHOWERS!

As the days passed, my strength and energy ebbed away. I felt less human each week. I was more like a catatonic zombie. Being alive was too much trouble. My facial expressions were dull and lifeless. Sometimes I forced a smile or a short response out of consideration for the person present, but it got to the point where I was too weak to care. I just wanted to go home.

The day before our departure Steve drove our Plymouth Voyager minivan and I drove our Honda Accord to post. The 20-minute drive was all I could stand. A new level of listlessness and lethargy consumed me. We left the Accord at a Chaplain’s house overnight and stayed in a hotel.

I lay on the bed in our hotel room perplexed by the burning sensations in my legs. It felt like little fires beneath my skin. I had no painkillers. It didn’t occur to me to take prednisone for pain. I thought that was for other problems. And I didn’t want to subject myself to it again anyway. I’d have to be dying.

I wasn’t in any condition to go anywhere so Steve walked across the street to get a McDonald’s meal and he grabbed a sundae to go along with it. The ice cream temporarily soothed my emotions but it did nothing to douse the fires in my legs.

I dug through my bag and found some ibuprofen that took the edge off the burn so I could sleep. There was no way I could drive to Colorado the next day. It’s a good thing God had that little detail worked out well in advance.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:

How often do we pass by a sister in need – even when we’re aware of her situation? I wonder how often I’ve done that. I hope not often. Of course, not every person can respond to every need, and certain ministry assignments are intended for certain Christians.

But I think that sometimes we refrain from helping others because we’re afraid of getting involved. We’re afraid it will require too much time or effort. Maybe we’re afraid we’ll catch their disease, or mysteriously end up with their problem. Maybe we’re so committed to “good” things that we “don’t have time” to reach out when a serious need exists. I suspect we assume other people are helping so we don’t need to.

There usually is a core group of helpers. Perhaps each of us needs to ask the Lord what our role is in the realm of helping sisters in need. Then follow through on what He says. In doing so we can be sure we’re involved where we need to be. We can avoid feeling guilty if we are instructed to refrain. We can avoid helping out of obligation. And we can maintain balance and boundaries in our own lives. The most important thing we can do is obey God’s call.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (Colossians 3:17).

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Life Happens – Jesus Answers is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org