A Trip of Another Kind
August 2001 arrived and my parents came to Tennessee to visit. Dad planned to see his brother, my Uncle Wayne. Mom, being a former realtor, was interested in seeing homes in the area just for kicks. We didn’t have a spare bedroom so they stayed at the Best Western. Our little rented house had just enough room for me, Steve, and Bridgette.
Steve was expected to depart for Afghanistan so I rode back to Colorado with Mom and Dad following their brief visit. My sister Judy lived with them at the time. We were stunned when she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. How strange that both of us would be hit with autoimmune diseases at the same time. We distinctly remembered a conversation we’d had a year earlier. While sitting around with family in my parents’ living room we expressed sympathy over problems other people were having. We marveled, with gratitude, that our family didn’t have any major traumas up to that point.
Was there something wrong with having a grateful heart? Does gratitude breed affliction, suffering, and sorrow? It was as if our expressions of gratitude triggered some bizarre chain of events. Like we were being punished, or challenged, for being grateful. Did God perceive it as prideful? We weren’t proud. We were relieved. It felt like He couldn’t possibly let us slide by without problems – as if everyone had to endure hardship at some point. Were we not dedicated enough to Him? What in the world did we do wrong? We couldn’t figure out what was happening. The timing was strange.
Have you ever said something and wished you could take it back? That’s how I felt about my expressions of gratitude. Was it possible that in our hearts we believed we must have been doing something right in order to escape God’s chastisement? Was that so horrible? There was no judgment or condemnation toward the other people. There was no comparison. We just felt grateful. Did these afflictions even have anything to do with what we did or didn’t do? Or was it just part of God’s plan for our lives that happened to manifest itself at that particular time? Questions mounted but answers remained elusive. Clearly, I had a lot to learn about God and how He operates in our lives. Lessons would be learned as devastation increased.
One September morning I discovered a strange white spot on the ball of my left thumb. It couldn’t be squeezed like a pimple. Nothing would come out. It began to hurt. Mom, in all her wisdom, suggested that I put a poultice on it to draw out what appeared to be pus. It didn’t work. The pain increased and nothing could extinguish it. When it approached an intolerable level I announced to my dad that we better take a trip to the ER at the Air Force Academy.
What transpired that day was just the beginning of inexplicable misery to come.
THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:
When you don’t know why something is happening and you feel like you’re being punished, cast your cares on Jesus. Get real. Get honest. Don’t be afraid of irreverence. He created you. He knows what’s in your heart already. Express it. He’s the only one you can safely unload your burdens on. He’s the only one who can do anything about your problem, and He has a reason for allowing it. Cry out to Him and let Him take you deeper into the realm of spiritual maturity and intimacy.
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
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Life Happens – Jesus Answers is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org
