Dancing at Zumba each week is a great antidote to my high school dance team experience. It’s actually a great antidote to many of the lies that have been hanging around my house over the years. These lies include the following:
“I’m not graceful.”
“I’m not beautiful.”
“I can’t dance.”
“I look ridiculous.”
And then there are other lies that drop by to visit. Some have been knocking on my front door for years:
“I can’t be forgiven for that.”
“If people really knew me, they wouldn’t love me.”
“I can never change.”
“I deserve what happened to me.”
During the first few years of college, I kind of did my own thing. I believed in God, but I definitely didn’t live for him. And I suffered the consequences of my choices. Eventually, I got tired of living life this way, and I decided to follow Jesus… for real. Only, it hasn’t been easy. Why? Because I continued to screw up. I still screw up – all the time.
I made a comment on the way home from Zumba recently. And it shocked the other girls in the car. After they stopped laughing at my “inappropriate” one-liner, one of them said something like, “I can’t believe you SAID that! You’re usually so proper!”
And that got me thinking: Do I come off like a goody-goody? Am I hiding behind a faade? Is my attempt to “be good” getting in the way of what God wants to do in my own heart (and in the lives of the people around me)?
These questions led me to contemplate what I’m truly passionate about. If there’s a message that I want to share, what is it?
Here it is:
As women, we need the freedom, dignity, and security that come from knowing we are beautiful, and we are loved.
I want this. I want this for myself. I want this for you. And I want it for all women around the world.
I’d like to think that we could actually bring freedom, dignity, and security to every woman in the world. Your neighborhood. My neighborhood. Places we haven’t seen yet. The far corners of the earth.
But here’s the cold, hard, uncomfortable truth. We won’t get there if we aren’t honest with one another – about our own shortfalls – about our own sins – about how we’ve been sinned against.
And after we’ve been honest with one another, we need to point one another to Jesus, our redeemer. He’s the only one who can rescue us from the pit of sin and despair. Only Jesus provides the freedom, dignity, and security we need. He is the only one who can provide true redemption and lasting hope.
In order to grab onto that hope, we’ve got to be honest with ourselves, with one another, and with Jesus.
I’ll go first.
In honor of my Zumba girls and all my other sisters out there, I’m letting it hang out today.
I listen to rock music. I like parties. I once shaved my head for no good reason (teen angst?). I never got a tattoo, but I might one day (sorry, Mom). I laugh at things that aren’t necessarily appropriate.
I know. That’s not so bad, is it? These things are actually a bit trivial, aren’t they? We’re not going to change the world if this is as real as we get with one another.
So, here goes… for real:
I’m not anywhere close to perfect. Any of my close friends or family members can tell you that. I’ve dropped the F-word before. I sometimes raise my voice in anger to the people I love, including my sweet kids (they hear me ask for their forgiveness on a regular basis).
I’ve sinned against many people. Some have sinned against me. I feel angry and sad about the people who’ve hurt me, and sometimes I struggle with feelings of bitterness toward them. Healing has not happened overnight.
I’ve made a ton of mistakes (both in the distant past and as recently as this morning). Those mistakes–both trivial and profound–don’t define me, but I do struggle against their lingering effects.
So what’s the point? Well, I’m a sinner. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. We’re all sinners. In fact, no one is good except for Jesus.
But I don’t let my sins define me. Nor do I let others’ sins against me define me. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning. However, I can get out of bed. Why? Because I’m completely loved and accepted by God. And that acceptance in no way hinges on good behavior – mine or anyone else’s. It hinges on the fact that God’s Son Jesus reached into our jacked up world and became one. . . of. . . us. . . so that we could each be made clean… made beautiful… made righteous.
Do you believe that? Do you believe that you are fully loved and fully accepted by God? Or are you weighed down by guilt, regret, or shame?
Jesus’ suffering and brutal death on our behalf won us the freedom, dignity, and security that we so desperately need. He opened heaven to us, and he also opened a road to wholeness in this life–no matter how painful our story has been.
“But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray, and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53: 5- 6 ESV)
My prayer is that by God’s grace, we will continue to grow in our understanding of what Jesus accomplished for you and for me on the cross. And that we would walk in the dignity and freedom that is ours.
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Val Sinclaire has been married for 12 years to her husband, TM. They have three young kids. You can reach Val through the Blog Manager.
