love » PWOC International Blog

Intimacy with Children

Sep 152011

Submitted By Beth Mills, PWOCI President

My husband and I had our five children within six-and-a-half years, no twins. When I realized I was going to have five teenagers, I’ll admit, I felt a stab of fear. But the Lord graciously dispelled the subtle lie of the enemy that I had bought, that the teen years are supposed to be filled with bad attitudes and rebellion. The Bible has many promises for right relationship with our children, promises that extend far beyond the teen years. Praise the Lord, it’s never too late to begin anew with our children, no matter their ages. We’re living in the days when the hearts of the fathers are turned to their children, and the hearts of the children are turned to their fathers (Malachi 4:5-6; Matt. 11:14; Luke 1:17). Deep, loving relationships with our children are made possible through the Lord’s Holy Spirit at work in our hearts and lives.

Following are some ways we’ve nurtured intimacy with our children.

1. Protect family time– We purposely spend regular time with our children. We had “Daddy-Daughter Dates” and “Mommy-Son Dates” when we just took one of our children for a soda or a walk around the block. That daughter or son had our undivided attention in those moments. Priceless. We guard our family meal time and keep one night a week free for games, stories, movies or just sitting around the fire together.

2. Love language—using what we learned from Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, we “practice” communicating our love in each child’s language, and we taught them to do likewise with their brothers and sisters.

3. Words—words have the power to build up or tear down (Prov. 18:21). The purpose of discipline is to build up our children. We determined to break their strong self-will without breaking their spirit. Speaking the truth in love and with grace builds trust in our relationship.

4. Forgiveness—as much as we want to be perfect parents, we still make mistakes in our parenting journey. When we do, we ask our children to forgive us. Rather than making us “appear weak” by admitting our faults, forgiveness brings strength to our relationship. In turn, when our children disobeyed, we extended forgiveness to them and prayed with them in the disciplining process.

5. Prayer—we followed the axiom, “The family that prays together, stays together.” We pray together over our moves, our challenges in school or with friendships, our future calling, etc. When the children were small, we taught them that their prayers were not small. Together, our faith in God has grown deeper as we share what the Lord has shown us in His Word and in prayer.

Do you Trust Him? Part 2

Seasonal teaching

Apr 222011

Submitted by Carleene Myer – Redstone Arsenal

Are you called to endure a Gethsemane season? Have you “been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake” (Phil. 1:29 NASB)?

During this Lenten season, let us meditate on the humanity of Christ….he suffered. He would rather have not suffered…..yet he obeyed His Father because he trusted that He knew best.

Max Lucado states: “Nothing comes your way that has not first passed through the filter of his love.”

Do you trust Him? Webster defines trust as: Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing; confident belief; faith.

So, why do we stumble? … “firm reliance on the integrity, and character of God Himself” Did you get that from the definition of trust?…..I can digest that statement intellectually….I can believe that, I do believe that, yet, we worry, we are shocked when bad things are allowed to happen to us, our kids, our husbands.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t rely on your own understanding…..in all your ways, (acknowledge) rely (have firm reliance) on Him….. Proverbs 3:5,6

Trusting, and learning trust, for me, comes in the form of prayer……You may say, “I pray, in fact, I pray every day”…but, do we spend more time worrying vice praying…..I say if you know how to worry, you know how to pray…..I mean, best friend, perfect Father, Abba, Father praying……learning to turn worrying into heartfelt, Gethsemane prayers.

Seeing the anguish of my son, not in his right mind,(when he had a break down) and then crying out to the God who is reliable, who saw His own Son in pure anguish; He who understands, who hears, who commands angels to do His bidding….that is where prayer begins….

I am learning. I don’t understand why my family has suffered in this way. I see the grace of God daily in my life and I am learning to trust Him, especially when it all makes no sense. I live in the Psalms, and draw faith and confidence as I learn to praise and worship Him.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca (weeping), they make it a place of springs; …they go from strength to strength till each appears before God in Zion. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Psalm 84: 5-7, 12

I am learning to pray in ways I never thought possible…..but more importantly, I am learning how to worship Our Lord and Our King. Praise Him through my circumstances and Praise Him for His incredible, perfect love.

Yearning for Him

Devotions

Mar 282011

Submitted By: Judy Carlson and Taryn Keller

Most military families get to deal with a certain thing sooner or later — separation. If you are not in the middle of it right now, you may not even want to think about it. I know how that feels. If you are currently going through it, you may be hoping I don’t make you cry. I’m sorry if I do, dear one, but I’ll cry with you.

Judy Carlson recently sent me this poem that she wrote. It touched me and I wanted to share it with you.

The Journey

My love has gone on a journey long,

And with him my soul, my breath and my song.

My love has gone on a journey brief

With half ‘o my heart, my lover the thief.

My love has gone on a journey foul,

With foxholes and brambles and animal howls–

To thwart and to frighten, to lengthen his passage,

To make it a journey that threatens our visage.

My love has gone on a journey fair,

And with him I go, my spirit to share.

To pick for him flowers and follow the hart,

E’en tho’ in my body, I ne’er shall depart.

My love has gone on a journey long,

And with him I send my breath and my song.

We’ll journey together, my lover and I,

With ‘His‘ holy will, we’ll meet by and by.

I think the Lord has been showing me how yearning can be healthy. Old testament prophets yearned for the temple to be rebuilt. Many Jews yearn for that very thing this day also! Believers in Christ yearn for his return and for an end to all evil, all sadness, and all pain. Wives yearn for their soldiers return.

You may think it odd that I would compare yearning for one’s husband with the world’s groaning for Christ’s return — but if marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, isn’t this also a continuation of that picture? This present suffering will be as nothing once He comes!

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. Romans 8:22, 23

Yearning for him makes me more aware of my yearning for Him!

I Need to Tell You Something

Marriage & Military

Feb 042011

Dancing at Zumba each week is a great antidote to my high school dance team experience. It’s actually a great antidote to many of the lies that have been hanging around my house over the years. These lies include the following:

“I’m not graceful.”

“I’m not beautiful.”

“I can’t dance.”

“I look ridiculous.”

And then there are other lies that drop by to visit. Some have been knocking on my front door for years:

“I can’t be forgiven for that.”

“If people really knew me, they wouldn’t love me.”

“I can never change.”

“I deserve what happened to me.”

During the first few years of college, I kind of did my own thing. I believed in God, but I definitely didn’t live for him. And I suffered the consequences of my choices. Eventually, I got tired of living life this way, and I decided to follow Jesus… for real. Only, it hasn’t been easy. Why? Because I continued to screw up. I still screw up – all the time.

I made a comment on the way home from Zumba recently. And it shocked the other girls in the car. After they stopped laughing at my “inappropriate” one-liner, one of them said something like, “I can’t believe you SAID that! You’re usually so proper!”

And that got me thinking: Do I come off like a goody-goody? Am I hiding behind a faade? Is my attempt to “be good” getting in the way of what God wants to do in my own heart (and in the lives of the people around me)?

These questions led me to contemplate what I’m truly passionate about. If there’s a message that I want to share, what is it?

Here it is:

As women, we need the freedom, dignity, and security that come from knowing we are beautiful, and we are loved.

I want this. I want this for myself. I want this for you. And I want it for all women around the world.

I’d like to think that we could actually bring freedom, dignity, and security to every woman in the world. Your neighborhood. My neighborhood. Places we haven’t seen yet. The far corners of the earth.

But here’s the cold, hard, uncomfortable truth. We won’t get there if we aren’t honest with one another – about our own shortfalls – about our own sins – about how we’ve been sinned against.

And after we’ve been honest with one another, we need to point one another to Jesus, our redeemer. He’s the only one who can rescue us from the pit of sin and despair. Only Jesus provides the freedom, dignity, and security we need. He is the only one who can provide true redemption and lasting hope.

In order to grab onto that hope, we’ve got to be honest with ourselves, with one another, and with Jesus.

I’ll go first.

In honor of my Zumba girls and all my other sisters out there, I’m letting it hang out today.

I listen to rock music. I like parties. I once shaved my head for no good reason (teen angst?). I never got a tattoo, but I might one day (sorry, Mom). I laugh at things that aren’t necessarily appropriate.

I know. That’s not so bad, is it? These things are actually a bit trivial, aren’t they? We’re not going to change the world if this is as real as we get with one another.

So, here goes… for real:

I’m not anywhere close to perfect. Any of my close friends or family members can tell you that. I’ve dropped the F-word before. I sometimes raise my voice in anger to the people I love, including my sweet kids (they hear me ask for their forgiveness on a regular basis).

I’ve sinned against many people. Some have sinned against me. I feel angry and sad about the people who’ve hurt me, and sometimes I struggle with feelings of bitterness toward them. Healing has not happened overnight.

I’ve made a ton of mistakes (both in the distant past and as recently as this morning). Those mistakes–both trivial and profound–don’t define me, but I do struggle against their lingering effects.

So what’s the point? Well, I’m a sinner. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. We’re all sinners. In fact, no one is good except for Jesus.

But I don’t let my sins define me. Nor do I let others’ sins against me define me. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning. However, I can get out of bed. Why? Because I’m completely loved and accepted by God. And that acceptance in no way hinges on good behavior – mine or anyone else’s. It hinges on the fact that God’s Son Jesus reached into our jacked up world and became one. . . of. . . us. . . so that we could each be made clean… made beautiful… made righteous.

Do you believe that? Do you believe that you are fully loved and fully accepted by God? Or are you weighed down by guilt, regret, or shame?

Jesus’ suffering and brutal death on our behalf won us the freedom, dignity, and security that we so desperately need. He opened heaven to us, and he also opened a road to wholeness in this life–no matter how painful our story has been.

“But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray, and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53: 5- 6 ESV)

My prayer is that by God’s grace, we will continue to grow in our understanding of what Jesus accomplished for you and for me on the cross. And that we would walk in the dignity and freedom that is ours.

_______________

Val Sinclaire has been married for 12 years to her husband, TM. They have three young kids. You can reach Val through the Blog Manager.

Authentic Love

President's Pen

Feb 022011

Submitted by Beth Mills, PWOCI President

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

One of my favorite books of the Bible is Song of Solomon. According to the introductory notes in my Bible, the theme of the Song is “The Quest for Authentic Love”. It seems that everyone is on this quest; we want what’s real, and we don’t want to settle for less. But what does this authentic love look like? Our entire life’s journey is about love. Jesus said the two greatest commandments were to love God and to love your neighbor. He says in John 15:12, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” All through the Bible, God shows us the way of love because He is love (1 John 4:8b).

Misty Edwards has a moving song called “Arms Wide Open”. She sings about gazing upon Jesus on the cross, weeping and dying for our sins. “Love’s Definition”, Jesus, has “arms wide open, a heart exposed”. Imbedded in the definition of authentic love is not only that we lay down our lives, but that we are vulnerable and open with God and with one another. God is jealous for our love and devotion. He wants all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, and all our strength. You can’t get much more authentic than that! And we know that God can be trusted with our hearts if His love has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). We can remove anything in our lives that keeps us from loving Him.

And because His love is poured into our hearts, we can rely on His Holy Spirit to help us love one another as He has loved us, with “arms wide open and hearts exposed”. With God’s love at work in us, PWOC can be a place where we can be real. When women come to our meetings, unsure of the way of love, we can be ready to greet them with the authentic love of God and let them know they’ve come to a safe place to find the Truth that sets us free. Together, we can encourage one another in this Quest for Authentic Love until the Day He returns for us!

Hospitality 1-2-3

Devotions

Jan 032011

By Andrea Plotner

Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Romans 12:13

Before my husband and I got married, I dreamed of operating a bed & breakfast inn, because I love to cook creatively and befriend new people. But I quickly realized that entertaining involves a certain “knack” which I didn’t seem to possess. So, for years, I volunteered to bring one great dish wherever we went and let others do the cooking (and cleaning!).

In the last couple of years, however, we’ve managed to have a number of people in our home on a regular basis, many of them friends from chapel, so I thought I’d pass on a few of the tips & tricks I’ve picked up recently that have made entertaining more manageable and meaningful.

Stagger the Cleaning

The best thing I can say here is that my house is not spotless when people arrive. If I have guests over on Sunday afternoon, and I know I vacuumed and mopped the floors on Friday, I’m good with that. The one exception here is toilets. I have three boys, and the toilets get cleaned daily.

Pick a Theme

First, I try to pick a theme to unify the food, décor, and music so that, even if my meal flops, guests can still have fond memories. If we have Mexican food, for example, I might put a Mexican blanket down for a tablecloth, a sombrero with chips in the rim as a centerpiece, and try to have mariachi music playing in the background.

My in-laws recently celebrated their 40^th wedding anniversary – the “Ruby Anniversary” – so we had a dinner where everything was “red” – red table decorations, red berry salad, red tomato pizza, and red meat with red potatoes.

Think “Three” (Ingredients)

I try my best to use recipes that require 3-5 ingredients or less. This saves both money and time. The red berry salad above, for example, had strawberries, snow peas, and balsamic vinegar (yum). That’s it. The red tomato pizza had puff pastry, mozzarella cheese, and sliced cherry tomatoes (double yum). The steak and potatoes had…well, you get the idea J For larger crowds, serving soup, stew, or chili with homemade bread pleases most everyone without breaking the bank.

Go with the Flow

This one took me a long time to learn, but make sure people can get to the food without stopping traffic or creating a bottle-neck. I find it works best to move my dining room chairs to the living room, and then use the dining room table like a circular buffet. After guests get their food & drinks, everyone moves to the living room to eat from trays. For us, it seems to work best to feed children first and then send them off to play. When entertaining families, I try to put out a loaf of whole grain bread, and jars of peanut butter & jelly (that’s just 3 ingredients!), regardless of the menu, so that the main focus can be on fellowship, and not the food.

Just Say “Yes”

If someone asks if they can bring a dish or help tidy up, the answer is “Yes, thanks for offering!” Besides needing all the help I can get, others (particularly those gifted in helping out behind the scenes) often feel more at ease when they have something to do.

Above all, when practicing hospitality, let the primary focus be on people, and not on preparations. With that loving formula, it’s hard to go wrong!

Prayer Points for December 27th- Jan 2nd

Prayer Points

Dec 312010

Matthew 2: 9-11

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped Matthew 2: 9-11 over the place where the child was. ¹⁰When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. ¹¹On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.

What an amazing story!! Men who studied the stars for wisdom, which is a bad thing to do, somehow found God. Astrology is occult. It is forbidden in God’s Word. But there must have been a true hunger for God in their search because He revealed Himself to them. Not only by His Star that interrupted every other star they studied, but also by warning them in a dream to stay away from King Herod.

The wise men brought Jesus prophetic gifts. God refines us like gold. His glory reflects in our lives. The streets of His Kingdom are paved in gold. God says the prayers of the saints are like bowls of incense being presented before the altar of God. Our prayers before Him are like a sweet fragrance of the evening sacrifice. The bitter myrrh represents the bitter suffering Jesus experienced. It is an embalming spice used in the Middle East. This baby shower gift foretold His death.

Dear Father, Thank you for the promise that when we seek You, we find You. We lift up those around us, even those seeking in darkness or doing things that are wrong. We pray that would be filled with true hunger for You and find You. Thank you for revealing yourself to hungry hearts then and now.

Thank you for the gifts the Wise Men brought You. God, refine us as gold. Burn off every obstacle to Your Love and let us reflect your glory and grace in our lives. God we lift our prayers of praise, of thanksgiving, of need and want to You. Let our prayers be a sweet smelling fragrance before Your Throne of Grace. Let grant us mercy to embrace the bitter sufferings of our lives. Give us grace to daily die to Self and return to You.

Most of all, give us wisdom that we might seek You. We love you Father. In Jesus Name, Amen

Joy to the World

Seasonal teaching

Dec 222010

Submitted by: Donna Castle

Fumbling in the dark to find a light, I grasp my travel alarm and hold it up to the glow from a nearby desk. It’s 3:30 am and my heart is singing “Joy to the world, the Savior reigns!” Why am I filled with joy at 3:30 am? My Savior REIGNS and I have much for which to be thankful during this Advent season .

At the top of my “Be Thankful” list is that our entire family will be “home” for Christmas. During the fall of 2008, one son and my husband deployed. As we waited expectantly for their return, the Lord used Isaiah 41:31 to encourage us. It reads, “Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.” There were times when I had to let God carry me high above the situation and give me His perspective. By God’s grace and mercy both have returned safely, yet I am very mindful of those who will not be celebrating Christ’s birth with their loved ones. My heart goes out to you as I pray that you may be comforted by the love and strength of our Lord in this season.

We have a Christmas tradition of hanging twenty-five “count-down” stockings filled with treats. As each day passes by, the stockings are a reminder that there are only a few days left before the children and grandchildren arrive. As I busily prepare for their coming, the season of Advent reminds me that it is more important to prepare our hearts for the coming of the Christ child. We can look to the lyrics of the carol “Joy to the World” and receive some guidance. “Let every heart prepare Him room.” Make time daily, personally and as a family, with Jesus. Search your heart and “No more let sins and sorrows grow, nor thorns infest the ground.” Make your heart clean before the Lord and each other so that nothing would interfere as “He comes to make His blessings flow.” Take heart. ”He rules the world with truth and grace, and makes the nations prove the glories of His righteousness, and wonders of His love.”

With your hearts prepared, may you loudly sing, “Joy to the world, the Lord is come! Let earth receive her King.”

Feed the Sheep - Love the Sheep- Part 4

regional review

Dec 092010

Submitted by Christine Young, Europe President

In the previous articles I had shared that our mission in Europe is to “feed the sheep” based on Jn 21:15-17. Today I’d like to emphasize the importance of knowing the sheep. Sheep are very interesting creatures and it is no mistake that we are compared to them in the Word. We have a lot in common with sheep. Trust me.

In Phillip Keller’s book, A Shepherd’s Look at Psalm 23, he shares that “sheep do not just ‘take care of themselves’ as some might suppose. They require, more than any other class of livestock, endless attention and meticulous care.” That was news to me. Sheep, more than any other class of livestock, require endless attention and meticulous care? Seriously? I thought they just roamed in the fields all day and we only had to move them occasionally. I was wrong. Sheep are more complicated than that and so are people.

My point today is that we need to know the sheep – the people around us. We don’t get to just walk into people’s lives and have influence without investing our resources of time and concern in them. Do you know the sheep around you or are you just a casual observer with a surface hello? The day that I went out to get pictures of sheep in my village (I live in the Netherlands on the border of Germany, tons of sheep, hence the storyline J), I had brought my digital camera. When I went to turn on the camera and the little audio “bleep” went off, the sheep ran. It wasn’t that loud at all. I was bummed out and not very confident that I would get good pictures. Then the dear shepherd came up alongside of me, with a pail of treats and the sheep came back. They knew the shepherd’s voice and they also knew He was telling them that I was “safe.”

In John 10:25-30 we read:

²⁵Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father’s name speak for me, ²⁶but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. ²⁷My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. ²⁸I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. ²⁹My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all^[^d^]; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. ³⁰I and the Father are one.”

The bottom line here is that God’s sheep know God. They recognize Him and know His voice. They “listen” to Him. There’s another key. Listening. That takes time and sacrifice. Sheep will not follow us if they don’t know us. God is the one who tells them if we are “safe” people. And if we don’t listen to them we really don’t deserve the privilege of speaking to them – they should just run away in a “bleep.”

Feed the Sheep - Love the Sheep- Part 3

regional review, Testimonies

Nov 112010

Christine Young, Europe President

In the previous articles I had shared that our mission in Europe is to “feed the sheep” based on Jn 21:15-17. In part two I had centered primarily on the importance of loving God first so we have love to give out. If we are intentional in our love relationship with the Lord we can both “feed the sheep, and love the sheep.” Actually we are feeding the sheep His love which makes all of the difference. As I continued to search out the Word and ask God for His design on our ministry, I was led to the feeding of the five thousand (naturally, more about food and feeding J) and in Mark 6:30-34, it reads:

³⁰The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. ³¹Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

³²So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. ³³But many who saw them leaving recognized them and ran on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. ³⁴When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.

This scripture drew me back to the importance of having His love for His sheep because in and of myself, I don’t have love for the sheep. Did you know sheep bite? I’ll save that for another time. J The truth is that we need the Lord Jesus and His love and compassion in order to love the sheep and touch hearts. Jesus had compassion for the sheep because they were like a sheep without a shepherd. Do you know some sheep that have no shepherd? Do you know some women who have just moved to your post and they are wandering around lost, like a sheep with no shepherd? Do you have compassion for them? If not, why not? If your love tank is empty and you have no compassion, head back to verse 31. Have you had a chance to eat at His table? And if not, maybe it’s time you receive the invitation He is giving out “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Then rustle up some sheep!

Older Entries

PWOC International Blog

Intimacy with Children

Do you Trust Him? Part 2

Yearning for Him

I Need to Tell You Something

Authentic Love

Hospitality 1-2-3

Prayer Points for December 27th- Jan 2nd

Joy to the World

Feed the Sheep - Love the Sheep- Part 4

Feed the Sheep - Love the Sheep- Part 3

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