Submitted by Carolyn Hudson

Like a lot of military families, our family loves to travel, see new places, and meet new people.  However, we all know that some trips are better than others.  It’s been my experience that the trips that we think are going to be the easy ones sometimes turn out to be the trickiest. 

We found ourselves on a journey like that in 2008.  We were preparing to move to Germany for our second time.  The first time, we’d lived in three homes, had a baby, and my husband had deployed from there.  We, along with our three children, thought we were very well prepared.  Within a few weeks of arriving, it became clear that this was not going to be like our previous tour.  There was a lot going on in both our unit and the community that was not healthy, and we were headed into a deployment.  In addition, we learned that we were expecting our fourth child.  Surprise!  So far this trip was not going quite as I’d planned.  

We then entered a deployment that was similar to being in a car wreck at least once a month.  Something terrible would happen; we would attempt to make it as right as possible, and then something else would happen.  The Lord was gracious and carried us through, but there were some very tough days during that time.  In the midst of this chaos, my sweet baby Josh was born.  He was a huge blessing from the day he arrived.  Everyone held and loved him, and always commented on how he was just a perfect baby. 

Eight months later, my husband and the rest of the unit returned home safely.  We were so thrilled to be back together as a family, and really ready to get back to life as normal.  However, within a month, my sweet, perfect baby Josh was diagnosed with Down’s syndrome at 9 months of age. 

So what do we do when the journey doesn’t go as expected?  What examples does Scripture give of people who found themselves on a journey where they weren’t sure of the outcome? 

The Apostle Paul is an excellent example of someone who trusted in the Lord with all his heart, every step of his journey.  The letters he wrote attest to all the places he visited, and his heart beat with the urgent need to follow the Lord’s calling to spread the Gospel.  He didn’t seem particularly concerned with how he got to those places – by his own free will, with a shipwreck en route, or in chains.  He only prayed that God would be magnified in his body, either by his life or death.

Hebrews 12:2 tells us to look “unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  I’ve understood for a while now that Jesus is the author of our faith, but I’ve only recently begun to understand that He is the finisher.  He gets to decide when we are finished.  We don’t get to tell Him when we are done, or when we don’t want to do something anymore.  It’s up to Him to decide the end, because only He knows where we’re going and what we need to look like when we are finished.

As we continue on our unexpected journey with Josh, we have really tried to focus on what Josh can do, rather than what he can’t.  As a result, we’ve experienced several unexpected blessings.  We have met people we never would have otherwise.  We have also grown in our compassion for others.  Our biggest desire is that God would be glorified through our family as we walk on this unexpected journey with Josh.  We know that there will be detours and rough spots, but I also know that in God’s wisdom, we are going to arrive when and where he wants us to.  And our desire as a family is to follow Him.

 

Dear Beloved of God,

In my final letter to you as PWOC International president, please allow me the opportunity to express my heart to you one last time.

In this role, I have seen God’s hand move in incredible ways within PWOC.  Throughout this journey, my desire has been to help us connect deeply with the heart of God and communicate our need to return to our first love, Jesus Christ, so that we could be free to fulfill His plan for our lives.  As I have spoken with many of you through emails, Facebook and at many PWOC events, I sensed that as a group of women, we are desiring more than just a religious experience inside four walls, we are desiring a true and deeper relationship with our Lord.  Perhaps it is due to the pressure of the almost ten years our nation has been fighting the war against terrorism.  Whatever the reason, God knows the season we are in and will work it together for our good and His kingdom purposes.

Over these past four years, I have had the honor to work with two incredible international boards.  I appreciate them so much for waiting on the Lord with me, for being passionate about hearing from the Lord in His assignment for us and for their willingness to go the distance needed in order to accomplish God’s vision for His ministry.  As I have told them before, I love hanging out under their “fruit trees”.  I have learned so much from each of them.

I would like to thank the following people for blessing me with their support in this term of office:  first, our official PWOC sponsor, US Army Chief of Chaplains, Chaplain Carver for his support of PWOC. Your example of being a worship “warrior” and having a heart like King David has encouraged me and has caused me to press in deeper with our Lord; Chaplain Puchy for being our PWOCI Chaplain through the thick and thin.  Your spiritual leadership encouraged each of us.  You are a vision caster, who has a true pastor’s heart.  The PWOCI Executive Board:  Lucia, Cinky and Melinda, you three are incredible women of God!  It has been an honor to be a part of this team with each of you.  We have seen the Lord weave His message of love for all of us in such amazing ways.  You have helped connect our hearts to those who know little to nothing about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, much less the ministry of PWOC.  Thank you for your support.  I will never forget our times of prayer in seeking God’s face for the ministry and the work we did together.  “Align, Arise & Shine” was truly a God breathed vision for the work our board would do together.

To the PWOC International Board (aka the Glory Train ministry team), each of you helped put His vision for us into motion.  It has been a great adventure and I believe we have all been stretched in our gifts, relationships and callings while on this board.  But more than that, I believe we have become God’s beautiful harmonious symphony sound that I have spoken about.  You have heard His sound and are singing His song.  It’s simply beautiful!

To the PWOCI Titus II Advisors, Becky Shirey and Rhonda Mixon and our prayer coordinator, Dawn Kennedy, you three have been instrumental in helping me through the thick and thin.  You are true prayer warriors and advisors who walk in the love and wisdom of God.  Thank you for holding me accountable, teaching me so much and holding up my arms.  I loved strategizing with each of you and processing the revelation and wisdom of God for this ministry.

Thank you to our eight regional presidents and boards and Europe’s area boards who have been our feet on the ground, connecting with our beautiful local PWOC women.  You have each been instrumental in pushing out the vision of PWOC International.  I love how you each have connected with one another as well.  Keep up the great work.  I know you will be a wonderful help and blessing to our new PWOC International president this upcoming year.

A special thank you to Dutch Sheets, Lee Grady, Cheryl Wright, Chaplain Doug Castle, Chaplain (Ret.) Lou Shirey and Valerie Bixler who have personally come to help equip and teach the PWOC International Board more things about the power of prayer, our intimacy with the Lord, the ministry of the Holy Spirit, the presence of God, the fundamentals of understanding forgiveness and trusting God, all of which are crucial teachings in this season we are in.   Also, thank you to Dustin Britt, Blake Howard, the team at Matchstic and Jennifer Cook for their help in providing our refreshed graphic look and helping us to communicate who we are.  I would work with all of you again any time.  Thank you again to Jennifer Cook and Jodie Brickson for your help with our PWOCI themes.  God has gifted you both with incredible creativity and talent.  I would like to thank Erin Nonaka for managing our PWOCI blog, which posts daily words of encouragement for our women.  And Shellie Kelly for the many hours she worked with us from the Army Chief of Chaplains office. And speaking of the Army Chief of Chaplains Office, everyone who worked with us, Chaplain Robinson, Chaplain Warden, Chaplain Lees, Nina Joyner and many others, we couldn’t have done all that we do without you.  All these amazing people and many more have blessed the ministry of PWOC in so many ways.  May the work of your hands produce a harvest of much fruit in years to come.

Thank you to each of my personal prayer intercessors, those I knew and those I didn’t.  Each of you served as a crucial part of my ministry team.  Thank you for praying for my family and I over these past four years.  I knew you were praying.  Any additional prayers you want to send on our behalf as I transition into my new role would be equally appreciated.

Thank you PWOC women for the many ways you bless our chaplains, our chapel communities and the many women within PWOC.  I know that this ministry will continue to take the love and good news of Jesus Christ to many more people than it does now.  It is His desire that we fulfill His great commission.

I want to thank my family for all their prayers, sacrifice and support.  I love each of you so much.  To my wonderful husband, David, who is truly my treasured gift from God, thank you!  You are the love of my life and my knight in shining armor.  Thank you for the many ways you have blessed the women of PWOC by praying with me for them. Thank you for always listening and encouraging me along the way.  I could not have done this without you.  May the Lord bless you for your great sacrifice in this season of our lives.

And to my Lord, Jesus Christ, I love you more than I ever thought humanly possible. You have given me the greatest treasure of all, a heart that is free to love You, to dance with You, to sing to You and to share that love with Your people.  Oh, how you have rend my heart for You. May your sons and daughters be open and unhindered in allowing You to do the same for them, for if they do, I know they will not be disappointed.

Thank you for the honor and blessing of being able to serve you as the PWOC International president these past four years.  May the Lord call each of you into a deeper relationship with Him.  You can never exhaust the depths of His love for you.

“…Arise My Darling, My beautiful one and come with Me”.  Song of Songs 2:10, 14 NIV

To God Alone Be All the Glory

LifeHappensBanner

It’s a Wrap!

This is the final installment of Life Happens – Jesus Answers and “Journey of Transformation.” God is bringing changes to the PWOCI blog so it is time to say goodbye. Change is good when it’s God directed and I trust that He has many blessings in store for us as we Shine in the Light of His Glory.

To begin, I’m including the final paragraph from the July 1, 2010, entry for context:

By September 2002 my health disaster was out of control. Clearly, there was more than lupus ravaging my body. The time had come to take my health care to the next level. I needed answers and I needed them fast. Fortunately, God had an awesome rheumatologist waiting in the wings.

By October 2002 I was wheelchair bound. I needed assistance with eating, bathing, dressing and walking. I was carried up and down stairs. I was bedridden. The excruciating pain, weakness, and burning in my arms prevented me from using them except for balance. The slightest exertion exhausted me. Infected ulcers burrowed to the bone on my elbows. This was a new level of torment.

By the grace of God I landed in the office of Dr. Michael Baker and my search for genuine help was over. I slumped in the rented wheelchair, head adorned with a ball cap covering my unsightly mane, and tears streaking my red, swollen, disfigured face. Both Dr. Baker and my husband carefully lifted me out of the chair and led me toward the examining table. Not only was I nearly paralyzed, I was breathless from exertion, and virtually lifeless.

After a physical examination, lab tests, and a muscle biopsy, Dr. Baker concluded that I had a form of muscular dystrophy called dermatomyositis. This life-threatening autoimmune disease attacks skin, muscle, and connective tissue – basically, the entire body can be affected. Only a small percentage of lupus was present by comparison. The other autoimmune diseases were Sjogren’s Syndrome, Raynaud’s Syndrome, and hypothyroidism. Treatment was prednisone and intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) infusions derived from human plasma.

With this new information came the time to update my Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) data including the fact that I had only a five-percent chance of survival. Without treatment, or if treatment didn’t work, I would have died. Years later while my dad was dying I learned that I could have received hospice care because my diagnosis and prognosis were so critical. This is something more people should know in case they have gravely ill family members who aren’t necessarily terminal.

Once I was officially diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease I became one of “Jerry’s Kids” and received a custom-fit wheelchair compliments of the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I still have it to this day and intend to keep it as a reminder of the depths to which I plummeted and the brink from which God saved me.

In spring 2003 a knowledgeable army dermatologist gave me a remedy for the infected ulcers on my elbows. One part vinegar to one part water. You heard me right. I was so angry to have suffered for eight months with this torture and all I would have had to do was soak my elbows in vinegar and water! Of course, the remedy was just as excruciating as the ulcers themselves. So I took oxycontin an hour before soaking because the burning pain was too much to bear.

By July 2003 the ulcers were gone but they left permanent, hideous scars. I was able to drive by this time and managed to get myself to PWOC. I had to sit during the entire program and went straight home and back to bed after. In March 2004 I was able to discontinue taking prednisone but continued the infusions.

The promise I received from the Holy Spirit back in 2001 about this trial lasting about five years came to pass. From the time I began getting symptoms in January 2000 to the end of 2004 the ordeal was largely over. Five years. After that the recovery process began.

In January 2005 I began weight training for the first time since 2000 and could lift only 10 pounds on the leg extension machine (quadriceps). I’m still working my way up to 90 pounds which is what I lifted before the disease set in. My quadriceps and biceps were the most severely affected muscles in my body.

By May 2005 I no longer needed oxycontin and phenergan for pain and nausea, and I finished the IVIG infusions after 27 months of treatment. It nearly took a miracle for me to receive these costly infusions but God worked it out. By August 2005 my hair had grown back completely. In 2006 I continued serving at my local PWOC.

In October 2007 my rheumatologist declared me cured of dermatomyositis. I stood in front of the PWOC body and gave an impromptu testimony about my healing, and proceeded to cut up the handicapped plaquard once displayed from the rearview mirror of my car. It was an act of faith.

As I recall 1999 when I walked around our Germany apartment praying for God to transform me by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2) I had no idea how He would answer that prayer. I certainly didn’t expect Him to take me down a dark and tangled road. Having endured all this and more, I am convinced we are far better off not knowing the future. Anticipating suffering of this nature would render many of us immobile.

Having persevered and arrived on the other side, I understand why God chose this path for me. It was effective. He used my physical anguish to produce an inward cleansing and strengthening of my heart and soul. As a result, I am free from many old habits, mindsets, and strongholds that kept me from living free in Christ.

There is nothing like a life-threatening illness to get you in a position of dependence, humility, and focus. It creates sober reflection and laser sharp awareness of what really matters in life. The things I thought were important gradually fell away while life itself shone through as the most significant thing of all – that is, eternal life. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace …”

God taught me many things through my journey of transformation thus far, but rather than sharing some of them in my own words I’ve chosen to let the Word of God speak:

Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word (Psalm 119:67).

Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being (Proverbs 20:30).

I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation (Psalm 118:13-14).

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast (1 Peter 5:10).

(More: Romans 12:1-2; 2 Corinthians 12:8-10; Hebrews 12:1-2; Psalm 103:1-5; Psalm 116:1-7; Psalm 119:71, 75, 92, 116-117; Isaiah 40; Isaiah 55:8-9; Isaiah 61:1-4.)

THE JOURNEY ENDS

It’s my hope that this Journey of Transformation has been a testimony of God’s ways, power, love and grace. I pray that the Holy Spirit used this story to encourage, to educate, and to challenge you. Never cower in the face of grave difficulties, but trust in God’s sovereignty, goodness, and mercy even when everything in you cries out against them. Because when Life Happens – Jesus Answers. May Jesus lead you gently through your own Journey of Transformation.

Aug 022010

Submitted by Kimchi Lya Blow

Moving in the military is always a journey of the heart for me. I experience a tugging within me that makes my heart beat in a variety of ways during such a time of transition and change. The boxes are all packed, taped up, and sealed tight for the next destination. The rooms are emptied of the former “stuff” that makes a house a home. The walls are bare and cupboards are empty. There are tiny scuff marks that exist in various places on the walls and floors, left as evidence that a family once lived within the four walls that made this home. The welcome mat is no longer at the front door to greet visitors. There is the sound of our voices echoing off the walls, yet another reminder that we are leaving. The sound of emptiness surrounds us.

Seeing your life packed up in boxes is surreal. I smile as I see our name written in black marker on the boxes to identify that this “stuff” belongs to a person. It somehow represents my family in a small way and causes me to contemplate what this life is really all about. What is within these boxes is not what matters, but rather the life it represents that is an endless journey taking us to new experiences and new destinations. In time, our “stuff” will eventually arrive in the semi-truck parked outside our new home, signifying a new beginning, a new chapter to unfold. However, that is not enough for me. Physical transition is necessary in this world we live in, but there is always a greater journey taking place within each of us that matters more than the physical destination itself. Hopefully, when we arrive to our new assignment, we will somehow make that complete journey in our hearts as well. In scripture, it tells us to be prepared in season and out of season and as life would have it, changes happen regardless if we are ready or not. And if you are in the military, you have to be ready!

In a few days, I will arrive at our new home. I will begin to unpack all the “stuff” that were in those boxes. I will find a place for everything to go. The walls will be filled again with pictures and knick knacks, and the cupboards will have a purpose once again. The new home will somehow get arranged and organized in a way that will bring order. Life for us will carry on as usual. We will call it “home” until the next set of orders is cut and we will do it all over again. But, I can’t help but be thankful in my heart and know that no matter where I end up as a military wife, it is not the unknown earthly destinations that God sends my family every few years, there is a more permanent home awaiting me for eternity. There will be no boxes to unpack or pictures to hang or cupboards to be filled. There will be no sound of emptiness to echo off the walls of my heart. Instead, where I am going, the welcome mat is permanent! This is my Heavenly “Daddy’s” home and I know my heart will have finally reached its true home. My name will not have to be marked in black marker because my Heavenly father will know me by name and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever; all our “stuff” will no longer matter! A good saying is that “home is where the heart is.” Well, if this is true, then I am already home because my heart is with my Lord today!

LifeHappensBanner

Confirmation and Concern

The first week of April 2001 Steve and I returned to Clarksville, Tennessee. Within days he headed west to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, for the last phase of school. Although friends invited me to stay with them, I chose to stay home. Besides, I had news I wasn’t willing to share yet, and I needed time to myself.

I visited my primary care doctor to verify the pregnancy, and I clearly remember the moment he returned to the exam room with test results. He handed me the printout so I could see it for myself — “Positive for HCG” — the pregnancy hormone. This doctor, the same one who suggested my autoimmune symptoms were psychosomatic, now asked an important question: “Is this good news?” “Yes,” I replied, “but I don’t know what to think. What about the lupus?” He attempted to reassure me that many women with lupus deliver healthy babies and he added a sincere “I’m happy for you.”

I walked through the hospital out to the parking lot, opened the door to our Plymouth Voyager minivan, climbed inside … and sat there. Bewildered, I prayed, “Lord, I’m happy but also concerned and confused. The timing is strange. This would be good news under better conditions, but I just don’t know what to think.”

At 35, with risk factors and a mysterious autoimmune disease, I was referred to an OB/GYN who specialized in high risk pregnancies. During the days leading up to my appointment, I read through my Merck manual to learn more about pregnancy risks in case something happened. At this point, Steve still didn’t know about the pregnancy. I wanted to tell him in person and expected the opportunity to arrive in subsequent weeks.

On Friday, April 13, 2001, I arrived at the OB/GYN’s office. I sat in the waiting room looking around at the other pregnant women, some with husbands by their side. I was the oldest in the room and felt conspicuously alone. This wasn’t the first time I was alone during a significant event nor would it be the last. So, I experienced the wonder of prenatal sonography by myself.

Floating around in amniotic fluid inside my womb was an active baby at 10.5 weeks. I could see the shape of the head, eye sockets, nose and mouth. The little arms were lifted up with hands together in a praying position. The heartbeat moved up and down gently. The legs and feet were clearly defined, kicking energetically as the baby rolled back and forth. I sensed he was a boy because he had a wide, strong back. Everything looked normal but his frantic kicking concerned me. The doctor said some babies are really active. But when he pointed out that the fetus had developed only to 9.5 weeks my heart sank. Showing no signs of concern, the doctor took a couple quick sonogram pictures and my appointment was over.

As I walked past the doctor’s desk toward the door, he spoke, “This is going to be a healthy pregnancy. Everything is going to be fine. It’s going to be good.” His tone was dull and his words were flat. It was as if he was trying to convince himself while mindlessly uttering false hope at me. I turned to look at him but he didn’t make eye contact. The incongruence of his words, tone of voice, and facial expression betrayed him and I wondered what he really thought. Still, I believed that if there was something I needed to know, he would have told me, and his words evaporated … until later.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES …

Welcome back to Life Happens – Jesus Answers in 2010. For those of you who are new to this column, I’m in the process of sharing my personal journey of transformation that has occurred over the last decade. You can get caught up from the beginning of the journey by accessing previous entries in Life Happens – Jesus Answers under “categories”.

Remember, in this new day of a new month in a new year and a new decade, God is doing a new thing, and He always has the best in mind for you no matter what your circumstances might be (Isaiah 43:18-19; Romans 8:28-30). People change and things change, but Our Lord is steadfast, faithful, and unchanging. As you walk with Him this year, rely on the truth of Scripture. Rely on His consistent love and grace. Rely on His strength and stability. But most of all rely on Him.

_______________________________

Life Happens – Jesus Answers” is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org

LifeHappensBanner

Unexpected Discovery

Each day I sat propped up on the bed reading, journaling, and praying. An inviting picture hanging on the wall across from me beckoned to me like a memory luring me back in time. Two white, wooden beach chairs faced forward toward the ocean. Seated on one was a woman wearing a white sun hat with a blue ribbon tied in a bow delicately draping the brim. To her left was a small grove of lacy green trees gracing the scene. As I gazed at the picture I felt warmth from the sun enveloping me with comforting serenity. Memories of Southern California summers breezed through my mind, and for a moment, I missed home. I spent hours studying this scene, wishing I were in it, wondering what my future held.

While the picture on the wall was a silent companion drawing me to another place, God was my ever-present source of comfort and hope. He has often used materials from In Touch Ministries to encourage me. One particular study met the cry of my heart as my condition worsened: Advancing through Adversity by Dr. Charles F. Stanley. God had strategically placed this resource in my hands as a light to guide me through the dark tunnel ahead.

It was March 2001 at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, when the adversity train led me down a new track. Sitting quietly reading I felt an itchy sensation on my bare arms and thought there were bugs in the room. I looked down to see strands of hair that had jumped off my scalp as if retreating from an enemy. When I worked conditioner through my hair in the shower, strands wrapped around my hands like a glove. Using my thumb, I pushed off a golf ball sized wad of hair each day and filled a trash can each week. Along with hair loss came increased fatigue, breathlessness, nausea, loss of appetite, and believe it or not, a severe distaste for chocolate — the most puzzling symptom of all. I assumed these unfortunate signs were members of the lupus family. According to what I read they belonged.

The day came when my assumption proved false. While getting dressed I looked down and noticed my abdomen protruding. As I stood sideways next to the mirror and mentally recalled my new symptoms one by one it dawned on me … I had missed two periods. What I had been experiencing the previous four weeks wasn’t lupus at all. I was pregnant.

Questions whirled around me like wind gusts trying to knock me down, “Will my immune system attack the fetus? Am I healthy enough to do this? I don’t even have a definite diagnosis yet. God, what are you up to?” Steve’s classes were about to end, we’d drive back to Tennessee, and he would head off to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, for the last phase of school. We made arrangements for me to stay with a friend if necessary.

In the meantime, I kept the little discovery to myself as we prepared to drive back to Fort Campbell, Kentucky. I marveled at the fact that neither Steve nor I knew I was pregnant during the entire month we were together. It was God’s secret until now, and I couldn’t help but wonder what was around the corner. It’s a blessing that I didn’t know in advance.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES …

Welcome back to Life Happens – Jesus Answers in 2010. For those of you who are new to this column, I’m in the process of sharing my personal journey of transformation that has occurred over the last decade. You can get caught up from the beginning of the journey by accessing previous entries in Life Happens – Jesus Answers under “categories”.

Remember, in this new day of a new month in a new year and a new decade, God is doing a new thing, and He always has the best in mind for you no matter what your circumstances might be (Isaiah 43:18-19; Romans 8:28-30). People change and things change, but Our Lord is steadfast, faithful, and unchanging. As you walk with Him this year, rely on the truth of Scripture. Rely on His consistent love and grace. Rely on His strength and stability. But most of all rely on Him.

_______________________________

Life Happens – Jesus Answers” is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org

  LifeHappensBanner 

Insults, Dippy Doctors, and a Road Trip

During my mysterious symptom accumulation, I landed in the office of a new primary care physician whose kindness and sensitivity were astounding. Not! After hearing me talk about my strange symptoms and the tentative diagnosis of “lupus” given by previous physicians, he examined me and asserted, “I think you have fibromyalgia which isn’t recognized by the medical community as a real condition. You are depressed and your symptoms are largely psychosomatic.” I replied, “You think these symptoms are in my head?! You think I’m making them up?” I was insulted.

How is it that I was given a fairly accurate diagnosis in Germany, then ended up at Fort Campbell with doctors who couldn’t agree? Part of the problem is that many autoimmune diseases mimic each other. Getting a final, accurate diagnosis is difficult until you have enough symptoms that fall into a certain category. It’s even harder with mixed connective tissue diseases because they can affect every part of the body. Ultimately, to be considered official, my diagnosis had to come from a rheumatologist — a doctor who specializes in autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and others. 

Unfortunately, specialists like these can be hard to find. The closest one who was available to see me in a reasonable amount of time was located an unreasonable distance away … in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Oh, it was only a two-hour drive. And, it didn’t matter that this doc spent more time in the hallway talking to his nurses than he did with me in the examining room, did it? Nor did it matter that he was from the Middle East and I couldn’t understand most of what he said. Although irresponsible of him, did it really matter that he offered me samples of prescription drugs for conditions I didn’t even have? No, not really. After all, to him I wasn’t a human being with feelings. I was a number preceded by a dollar sign. He had visions of greenbacks dancing in his head.

Drives, distances, and dollar signs aside, at least this specialist guessed that I probably had some kind of autoimmune disease. Wow, what a revelation! His guess was nothing new and he arrived at it without much investigation. As a result, I still didn’t have a definitive diagnosis from a rheumatologist. I suspect this dude gladly welcomed me to his office for as long as I would endure his malpractice. I visited him a couple more times then gave up.

Toward the end of February Steve traveled to Fort Jackson, South Carolina, to attend school. By early March my condition worsened. Cooking, cleaning, and shopping rendered me breathless and exhausted. I wasn’t eating enough and spent more time in bed. Something needed to change or I would deteriorate. So, I placed Bridgette, our beagle, in a friend’s care and managed to hitch a ride to Fort Jackson with a military family. They “just so happened” to be heading the direction I needed to go. Yeah, right. It was no accident. God is totally in control of everything. This was just one example of the Lord’s timely provision along this journey.

While Steve was in classes I had plenty of time to read and pray. Each day I sat in a cozy chair by the window and looked out toward the evergreens in the distance. They reminded me of the trees at Ramstein Air Base in Germany. It was beautiful there. I love God’s creation, and I dreamed of one day living in a place that had beautiful trees.

In the meantime, resting had top priority while new symptoms grabbed my attention. What I had experienced thus far paled in comparison to what lie ahead. This journey was about to lead me down Heartbreak Road.

TO BE CONTINUED …

Women of PWOC, stay connected! Life Happens – Jesus Answers will resume with the “Journey of Transformation, Part 6,” on Thursday, January 14, 2010.  The Blog will be featuring posts on Thanksgiving and Advent over the next 6 weeks.  Be sure to enjoy them and share them with your family and friends.

During this season, be sure to cherish the precious moments you have with your families, and reflect on the grace and provision that God extended to you in 2009.

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy 2010 to all of you! When you’re walking through the commissary or down the street in your neighborhood, wish everyone you meet a “Merry Christmas!” After all, it’s only because of Christ that we have a reason to celebrate.

_____________________

Life Happens – Jesus Answers” is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org

LifeHappensBanner

The Journey Begins

Reaching the end of yourself is a good thing. For many people, reaching the end of themselves means that they’re totally sick of their stupid, unhealthy behavior, and they’re ready to change it. That’s where I was in 1999 – ready and willing to change, but powerless to do it.

None of us has the power to accomplish anything of true worth or value, including changing ourselves, apart from Christ (John 15:5). I had acknowledged that I was helpless and hopeless for the task. I had cried out to God with sincerity and desperation. I waited. I expected. I anticipated a swift supernatural deliverance from the strongholds within. Wasn’t God in the business of rescuing His children from Satan’s grip? Hadn’t I suffered and lost enough? How I ended up wasn’t my fault. It was my parents’ fault, wasn’t it? Yes, they were responsible for shaping me into the damaged woman I became. However, as an adult, I needed to take responsibility for my condition and embark on a process of overcoming and reversing the damage.

God started the process for me. It began slowly. In January 2000 my gums became swollen and enflamed. I expected this unusual condition to pass. After three months I went to the dentist and he suggested I try a different toothpaste for two weeks. It didn’t help. Next on his list was a visit to a periodontist in Hanau. This gum specialist did lab work and took a biopsy of my gums. He suspected I had something awful like lupus or leukemia. Two weeks later I returned to his office.

The news was good and bad. My white blood cell count was normal, so the doctor didn’t suspect leukemia. However, the gum tissue biopsy showed inflammation, a telltale sign of Systemic Lupus Erythematosis (SLE). Although the doctor’s diagnosis wasn’t conclusive, he suspected that I did have early onset SLE, a potentially life-threatening autoimmune disease. For those of you who aren’t familiar with autoimmune diseases, “auto” means “self” and “immune” means the immune system is involved. My immune system was confused. It attacked harmful invaders in my body like it was supposed to, but it kept going and began to attack perfectly healthy tissue. In essence, my immune system was attacking me.

This news came at a time when my husband, Steve, was deployed to Kosovo. Why is it that every time I received bad news or experienced something traumatic, I was alone? God was in the process of causing me to run to Him and rely on Him first and foremost. This I realized years later after spending plenty of time fussing, fuming and worrying.

On the trip home from Hanau to Friedberg I stared through the windshield, dazed. Questions bounced around in my head like pinballs. I knew of women who had died from kidney failure brought on by lupus. Was that going to happen to me? Was I going to get seriously ill and die? Why was this happening? Why am I alone with this news? It was April 2000 and we were due to PCS to Fort Campbell, Kentucky, in July.

TO BE CONTINUED …

Women of PWOC, stay connected! In the coming weeks I will continue sharing my Journey of Transformation from being wounded and angry to healed and thriving. My purpose in sharing this story is to glorify God, to show the truth about Him, to display His goodness and provision in the midst of suffering, and to give you hope. No matter where you find yourself at this time in your life, be assured that God is trustworthy and faithful despite how you feel about Him. He does have good plans for you. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jer. 29:11).

____________________

LauraFirtko_100509Life Happens – Jesus Answers” is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org

© 2012 PWOC International Blog Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha