Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”- which is the first command with a promise – “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Eph 6:1-3
While “teaching” at our youth group the other night, my question to a room full of restless middle-school kids was this; “According to Ephesians 6:1-3 (quoted above), what is the benefit of obeying your parents and does that promise make it easy to not get mad and upset with them when we do not agree with their decisions?” With honest and blunt answers coming from around the room, most of us were in agreement that the promise does not normally reroute our pursuit of an argument, eye rolls, or door slamming. Even those who were willing to admit that their parents are usually right and have their best intentions in mind still would say it didn’t always change their disappointment and attitude.
The next question I asked was “How can we honor our parents in moments like these?” Most gave answers that would shorten the fight and avoid punishment. It was in these answers that I realized that I had asked the wrong question in the first place. The promise is not linked with obedience; the promise follows honor. I quickly retraced my steps with the pre-teen/teen crowd and pointed out that, although we can do things in order to avoid further conflict by being instantly obedient, we are not even beginning to touch the grounds of honoring someone. The conversation that followed was a Holy Spirit moment if I ever saw one. Rather than simply obeying our parents, even when we think they are nuts, what if we honored them in return?
I am writing this to you, as women, so that you and I might reap the benefit of that which has been promised to us. Our parents either by blood, adoption, or in some cases we and/or they feel “by accident” are our God given-parents. They are not perfect nor are they always looking out for what’s best for us, however, the original context of this verse found in Deuteronomy 5:16 does not leave any exceptions. God’s command is clear; we are to honor our father and our mother, period.
We should give thought to the fact that honor has very little to do with outward obedience, and more to do with the humbled position of our heart. Because it is harder to change one’s heart than it is to bite our tongue, we can be sure that the same God who helps us control our lips desires to help us control the condition of our heart.
Today, I challenge us to honor our parents, whether they’re biological, adopted, or bitterly estranged. May we not become content with obedience that avoids conflict and bitterness, but instead may we pursue a degree of honor towards them that merits God’s promise, “that it will go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Deut 5:16b
Submitted by Jeni Kopp
