After completing the W.I.L.D. training last year I sat in a Chapel classroom with two other board members and cried. I felt so overwhelmed and unprepared for the position I had been selected for as President of the Eielson PWOC. The weight of every woman on Eielson suddenly sat on my shoulders. I was very new to PWOC. I had been a part of our Women’s Ministry at our home church in San Antonio TX, so I was not sure where this overwhelmed feeling was coming from. I even met with our Chaplain to explain why I did not feel I was the gal for the job, leading other women in their walk when my walk was littered with junk and so many flaws. Who am I? How would I be used? Why would I be used?
We are daughters of the Lord, shortcomings, junk and flaws. We try and wear our “big girl” panties and do it our own way. Then we are surprised when we fall short. We need Christ every step of the way. I know this, I believe this, and yet time and time again I try and do it my way and consult with Him from time to time. I wonder…hum why do I feel overwhelmed? He did not intend for me to just check in, He wants to be leading the way and wants my complete submission as His plans have been laid out for each of us. Yet I compare our local installation with others and we need only 2 bible studies, we have monthly fellowship and we fit in a service project. Never feeling as though it was enough.
We need to get back to basics. God did not give His Son to save us from our sins for us to continue to do life on our own. Eielson PWOC is a small group because that is exactly what His intentions were for us this year. There is no shame or failure in being small. So, I do I feel those things…well because living in the flesh and not the Spirit messes with our life. Satan loves to do the dance when we are beating ourselves up. Because then he thinks he has a small or even a large victory! Well, I say get behind me Satan because I am a daughter of Christ and you have no place in this body! GET OUT!!
God is so patient with each of us. He waits patiently for us to get out of the way. I believe there is a reason we were so small. I believe He has been very intentional and His timing is perfect. There is a reason we do not have a selected board for next year because HE is still setting it into place. His timing is perfect and ours is not. There is a reason square pegs do not fit into round holes. I believe that it is easy for us to get caught up in meeting the expectation of others and we miss seeking His expectation for our lives and our ministry. We get caught up in the guidelines and rules and we don’t hear Him. We are….I am so worried about letting others down that I miss that I am not shining in the light of HIS glory.
As I stated earlier we do not have a board for next year. He breaks the pot, turns it back into clay and He shapes the clay. This is not an easy process but know HE is bigger. So big that He shows up at a small soccer field in Fairbanks AK to remind me that He has a plan for my life, for your life and for PWOC. There are seasons of brokenness that we go through so that He can rebuild us. It is uncomfortable and painful, however the reward is an amazing gift. He CAN make a square peg into a round peg when it is time. Are you willing? I am and He is patiently waiting for each of us.
Peace
Kim, Alaska Region
“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. An the Father who knows all hearts knows that the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory. What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his won Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one – for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one -for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.”
Romans 8: 26 – 34

