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It’s a Wrap!

This is the final installment of Life Happens – Jesus Answers and “Journey of Transformation.” God is bringing changes to the PWOCI blog so it is time to say goodbye. Change is good when it’s God directed and I trust that He has many blessings in store for us as we Shine in the Light of His Glory.

To begin, I’m including the final paragraph from the July 1, 2010, entry for context:

By September 2002 my health disaster was out of control. Clearly, there was more than lupus ravaging my body. The time had come to take my health care to the next level. I needed answers and I needed them fast. Fortunately, God had an awesome rheumatologist waiting in the wings.

By October 2002 I was wheelchair bound. I needed assistance with eating, bathing, dressing and walking. I was carried up and down stairs. I was bedridden. The excruciating pain, weakness, and burning in my arms prevented me from using them except for balance. The slightest exertion exhausted me. Infected ulcers burrowed to the bone on my elbows. This was a new level of torment.

By the grace of God I landed in the office of Dr. Michael Baker and my search for genuine help was over. I slumped in the rented wheelchair, head adorned with a ball cap covering my unsightly mane, and tears streaking my red, swollen, disfigured face. Both Dr. Baker and my husband carefully lifted me out of the chair and led me toward the examining table. Not only was I nearly paralyzed, I was breathless from exertion, and virtually lifeless.

After a physical examination, lab tests, and a muscle biopsy, Dr. Baker concluded that I had a form of muscular dystrophy called dermatomyositis. This life-threatening autoimmune disease attacks skin, muscle, and connective tissue – basically, the entire body can be affected. Only a small percentage of lupus was present by comparison. The other autoimmune diseases were Sjogren’s Syndrome, Raynaud’s Syndrome, and hypothyroidism. Treatment was prednisone and intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) infusions derived from human plasma.

With this new information came the time to update my Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) data including the fact that I had only a five-percent chance of survival. Without treatment, or if treatment didn’t work, I would have died. Years later while my dad was dying I learned that I could have received hospice care because my diagnosis and prognosis were so critical. This is something more people should know in case they have gravely ill family members who aren’t necessarily terminal.

Once I was officially diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease I became one of “Jerry’s Kids” and received a custom-fit wheelchair compliments of the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I still have it to this day and intend to keep it as a reminder of the depths to which I plummeted and the brink from which God saved me.

In spring 2003 a knowledgeable army dermatologist gave me a remedy for the infected ulcers on my elbows. One part vinegar to one part water. You heard me right. I was so angry to have suffered for eight months with this torture and all I would have had to do was soak my elbows in vinegar and water! Of course, the remedy was just as excruciating as the ulcers themselves. So I took oxycontin an hour before soaking because the burning pain was too much to bear.

By July 2003 the ulcers were gone but they left permanent, hideous scars. I was able to drive by this time and managed to get myself to PWOC. I had to sit during the entire program and went straight home and back to bed after. In March 2004 I was able to discontinue taking prednisone but continued the infusions.

The promise I received from the Holy Spirit back in 2001 about this trial lasting about five years came to pass. From the time I began getting symptoms in January 2000 to the end of 2004 the ordeal was largely over. Five years. After that the recovery process began.

In January 2005 I began weight training for the first time since 2000 and could lift only 10 pounds on the leg extension machine (quadriceps). I’m still working my way up to 90 pounds which is what I lifted before the disease set in. My quadriceps and biceps were the most severely affected muscles in my body.

By May 2005 I no longer needed oxycontin and phenergan for pain and nausea, and I finished the IVIG infusions after 27 months of treatment. It nearly took a miracle for me to receive these costly infusions but God worked it out. By August 2005 my hair had grown back completely. In 2006 I continued serving at my local PWOC.

In October 2007 my rheumatologist declared me cured of dermatomyositis. I stood in front of the PWOC body and gave an impromptu testimony about my healing, and proceeded to cut up the handicapped plaquard once displayed from the rearview mirror of my car. It was an act of faith.

As I recall 1999 when I walked around our Germany apartment praying for God to transform me by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2) I had no idea how He would answer that prayer. I certainly didn’t expect Him to take me down a dark and tangled road. Having endured all this and more, I am convinced we are far better off not knowing the future. Anticipating suffering of this nature would render many of us immobile.

Having persevered and arrived on the other side, I understand why God chose this path for me. It was effective. He used my physical anguish to produce an inward cleansing and strengthening of my heart and soul. As a result, I am free from many old habits, mindsets, and strongholds that kept me from living free in Christ.

There is nothing like a life-threatening illness to get you in a position of dependence, humility, and focus. It creates sober reflection and laser sharp awareness of what really matters in life. The things I thought were important gradually fell away while life itself shone through as the most significant thing of all – that is, eternal life. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace …”

God taught me many things through my journey of transformation thus far, but rather than sharing some of them in my own words I’ve chosen to let the Word of God speak:

Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word (Psalm 119:67).

Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being (Proverbs 20:30).

I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation (Psalm 118:13-14).

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast (1 Peter 5:10).

(More: Romans 12:1-2; 2 Corinthians 12:8-10; Hebrews 12:1-2; Psalm 103:1-5; Psalm 116:1-7; Psalm 119:71, 75, 92, 116-117; Isaiah 40; Isaiah 55:8-9; Isaiah 61:1-4.)

THE JOURNEY ENDS

It’s my hope that this Journey of Transformation has been a testimony of God’s ways, power, love and grace. I pray that the Holy Spirit used this story to encourage, to educate, and to challenge you. Never cower in the face of grave difficulties, but trust in God’s sovereignty, goodness, and mercy even when everything in you cries out against them. Because when Life Happens – Jesus Answers. May Jesus lead you gently through your own Journey of Transformation.

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Clash of the Specialists

It was November 2001 when I landed in the dermatologist’s office. Dr. Honl was kind, compassionate, professional, and deeply concerned about me. Days later I ended up in the rheumatologist’s office. Dr. Linney (name has been changed) wasn’t so concerned.

The battle of the specialists began.

The first time I visited Dr. Honl she carefully examined my skin. When she noticed my shins she asked, “Do you ever use lotion?” I replied, “Yes, but it takes too much energy to get down there and apply it. I don’t do it often.” The skin looked dry and scaly, almost with a marbled, shiny appearance.

She looked at my fingers and toes. Apparently the ulcers that were forming on the bottoms of my big toes did so because circulation was lacking. The Raynaud’s Syndrome was kicking in more and my hands and feet often turned purple. It was hard to keep them warm. The calcifications and burning sensations on my knuckles and finger tips definitely suggested a serious autoimmune problem.

After assessing me completely Dr. Honl announced, “I think you have a connective tissue disease called dermatomyositis. The skin lesions and muscle weakness are consistent with that.” I told her that other doctors stood firm on the diagnosis of lupus. She was certain that these new eruptions were not signs of lupus although there could possibly be some lupus mixed in. Was she correct?

An official diagnosis had to come from a rheumatologist – a specialist who deals with autoimmune diseases. I’d been here before. The rheumatologist I saw in Bowling Green, Kentucky, who seemed more interested in collecting his fees than he was in helping me, was the guy who gave the “official” lupus diagnosis. But now maybe I would have a doctor who would exert some effort in nailing down this mysterious disease process.

Tri Care assigned me to a rheumatologist named Dr. Linney who happened to be the same one my sister saw. Some doctors are better than others and both of us struck out with this one. After examining me he affirmed the standing diagnosis, “You have lupus.” I said, “Dr. Honl, my dermatologist, thinks that I show definite signs of dermatomyositis.” How did he respond?

Dr. Linney’s cold demeanor nearly made me shiver. There wasn’t a hint of warmth or concern in his expression. With a determined arrogance he refused to give Dr. Honl’s diagnosis a second glance. Something was wrong. I sensed in my spirit that this guy was putting his pride before his patient. It was clear to me that he stood firm on his opinion because he couldn’t handle conceding to a dermatologist – a female dermatologist at that. After all, he was the big rheumatologist and he had to be right! But was he?

Power and control. That’s what it was all about. Where did that leave me? I revisited my Merck Manual and read about dermatomyositis. It sounded scary. It could put me in wheelchair. It could take my life. But for the time being, lupus reigned.

A year from this point I finally would have the right answers, but until that time God had more things in store for me – a visit with a naturopathic physician was on the horizon.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:

Through life’s uncertainties I have learned to lean on Christ. If I never had any problems, if I got all the answers I wanted, and if everyone agreed and got along . . . I’d be living in Pleasantville where everything is black and white. Boring! I want color! I want vibrancy! I want to live.

Regrettably, living involves pain. Living involves unanswered questions. Living involves power struggles between people who won’t agree. Life is a big mystery held in the hands of a big God who has something bigger in mind than we can comprehend. Trusting and waiting are hard, but they are what I must do.

Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him (Isaiah 64:4).

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Life Happens – Jesus Answers is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org

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