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Sanity in a Three-Ring Binder…Priceless!

Bits & Pieces, Life Happens, Life Happens Jesus Answers

May 062012

“Commit your works to the LORD and your plans will be established.” Proverbs 16:3

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.” Proverbs 21:5

Anything that requires planning and organization on my part is definitely a matter for prayer! This is why God gave me a husband and some good friends who are good at this kind of thing. Slowly, but surely, I am learning from their example.

Larissa’s Moving Notebook

One of the things that I love about this gal is her ability to make the ordinary into something special. I knew better than to ask her why she would take the time to make such a lovely cover, cause I already know the answer. “If it looks good, it will motivate me to use it.” Bingo! I like that philosophy, even if I don’t have time or the inclination to do such a thing. Unlike my notebook, her sections are nicely labeled and the sections are well on their way to being full.

Notice the lovely map of Oahu

Here’s a list of Larissa’s tabs:

Orders
Moving Calendar
Checklists
Pets
Housing for New Location
Shipments (including the inventory of her last move and storage inventory)
Car Storage and Transport
Travel Arrangements/Itinerary
Last Things to Do (places, people, and purchases)
Information on New Location
Miscellaneous–gotta have one of those!
Moving Tips

And of course, don’t forget those important documents like passports, power-of-attorney, birth certificates, wills, and shot records. You might not keep these in your notebook, but it is important to have an organized way to hand carry these with you. Accordion files are great for this.

As we were chatting about the whole notebook thing, Larissa shared some of her notebook wisdom with me:

1. You have paperwork all in one place.

2. You can look back to refer to what worked and what didn’t work on the last move. This is key for those of us who seem to make the same mistakes over and over again.

3. With each move you can build on good information and eventually work your way up to Moving Goddess status–a little-known-but-elite corps of military wives who have moving down to both an art and a science.

4. Here’s a good one: Being able to find information and paperwork when you need it saves marital squabbling over misplaced documents. Ohh…not good. Moving is stressful enough without stressing where the furniture inventory or the hotel reservation numbers are.

5. You are prepared to share great information with others–another fine trait of the Moving Goddess. If you can’t be one, it sure is handy to know one!

6. Sanity in a three-ring binder…priceless.

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Shipwrecked

Devotions, Life Happens

Mar 172012

Acts 27

Paul was on the ship as a prisoner sailing to Italy with the Roman officials and other prisoners. The captain was determined to sail to their new location even though they were encountering bad weather – really bad weather! Well, actually, the storms didn’t come right away….Paul advised them to not continue the course, but the captain would not listen, therefore, they sailed right into the storm ahead. If you read the account, you will remember that because Paul saw an angel of God and received the word that no one would die, he was encouraged, but they had to stay on the boat and not jump ship or they would die. However, all their cargo and belongings were lost at sea. True to his word, all was lost except their lives and all prisoners were accounted for when they got to the shore.

As I read this story, this is what came to mind. I think sometimes we have a tendency to be so determined (i.e. stubborn) to do it OUR way that we close our ears to the wise council of others God has put in our lives or across our path. I know that has been true for me. And the person He likes to use the most that I usually have the hardest time hearing from is my husband! Go figure! There’s a reason the Lord put us together and it would do me good to pay attention when he speaks wisdom into my life! I’m a pretty easy going, flexible person, but for some reason, when it comes to my husband opposing me or suggesting alternate ideas, I get this stubborn streak that wants to have my way! It’s pride, it’s selfishness, it’s me out to prove I can do it and “You can’t tell me what to do – we’re equals here, remember?” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve acted that way in the last 10 years of our marriage, I’d be a wealthy woman!

The truth is, we all can be selfish and want our own way. We all think we know better or try to push the limits just a bit further, even after the warnings, and we end up suffering more loss than we expected. Our lives may still be intact, but what we started out with may be gone or ruined. It doesn’t end the way it was supposed to.

Isaiah 53:6 says All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all.

Proverbs 14:12 says: There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.

There is a plan God wants us to follow and there are consequences when we decide not to follow them. Of course there is forgiveness and second chances along the way, but I’d rather listen and get it right the first time than suffer loss from disobeying. (And we all know the difference when we deliberately decide not to and when we do things unintentionally!) J

James 1:5 says: “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”

My prayer for you and myself is that we will avoid a shipwreck. That we would stop, listen and soften our hearts to what the Lord may be saying to us, even though we have determined in our minds what WE think we should do or is best. Maybe there is disaster ahead we aren’t aware of that God is trying to protect us from, just like He did with Paul.

Kayla Atkins

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The Idol of…Sleep?

Bits & Pieces, Life Happens

Feb 122012

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 New International Version 1984 (NIV1984):

Have you ever considered sleep an idol? I hadn’t until recently, but I realize I regularly count the number of hours I get per night, and tend to resent anything (husband, children, stage of life) that subtracts from my “perfect” number. I am also tempted to become cranky and irritable when I don’t get “enough sleep” and often justify my reactions, rather than labeling them as sin.

No matter how subtle or respectable a particular sin may be, it needs to be confessed, and repentance – a turning away – needs to take place. Often I need to apologize to those I have mistreated as well.

We’re told in the book of James that God has a limitless supply of wisdom for those who ask, so I will be asking God for a new strategy to deal with sleepless nights, trusting that His power will be made perfect in my weakness.

By Andrea Plotner

Asst. to the President, PWOCI

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Journey of Transformation, Part 29 (The End)

Jesus Answers, Life Happens, Life Happens Jesus Answers, Real life stories, Testimonies

Sep 022010

It’s a Wrap!

This is the final installment of Life Happens – Jesus Answers and “Journey of Transformation.” God is bringing changes to the PWOCI blog so it is time to say goodbye. Change is good when it’s God directed and I trust that He has many blessings in store for us as we Shine in the Light of His Glory.

To begin, I’m including the final paragraph from the July 1, 2010, entry for context:

By September 2002 my health disaster was out of control. Clearly, there was more than lupus ravaging my body. The time had come to take my health care to the next level. I needed answers and I needed them fast. Fortunately, God had an awesome rheumatologist waiting in the wings.

By October 2002 I was wheelchair bound. I needed assistance with eating, bathing, dressing and walking. I was carried up and down stairs. I was bedridden. The excruciating pain, weakness, and burning in my arms prevented me from using them except for balance. The slightest exertion exhausted me. Infected ulcers burrowed to the bone on my elbows. This was a new level of torment.

By the grace of God I landed in the office of Dr. Michael Baker and my search for genuine help was over. I slumped in the rented wheelchair, head adorned with a ball cap covering my unsightly mane, and tears streaking my red, swollen, disfigured face. Both Dr. Baker and my husband carefully lifted me out of the chair and led me toward the examining table. Not only was I nearly paralyzed, I was breathless from exertion, and virtually lifeless.

After a physical examination, lab tests, and a muscle biopsy, Dr. Baker concluded that I had a form of muscular dystrophy called dermatomyositis. This life-threatening autoimmune disease attacks skin, muscle, and connective tissue – basically, the entire body can be affected. Only a small percentage of lupus was present by comparison. The other autoimmune diseases were Sjogren’s Syndrome, Raynaud’s Syndrome, and hypothyroidism. Treatment was prednisone and intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) infusions derived from human plasma.

With this new information came the time to update my Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) data including the fact that I had only a five-percent chance of survival. Without treatment, or if treatment didn’t work, I would have died. Years later while my dad was dying I learned that I could have received hospice care because my diagnosis and prognosis were so critical. This is something more people should know in case they have gravely ill family members who aren’t necessarily terminal.

Once I was officially diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease I became one of “Jerry’s Kids” and received a custom-fit wheelchair compliments of the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I still have it to this day and intend to keep it as a reminder of the depths to which I plummeted and the brink from which God saved me.

In spring 2003 a knowledgeable army dermatologist gave me a remedy for the infected ulcers on my elbows. One part vinegar to one part water. You heard me right. I was so angry to have suffered for eight months with this torture and all I would have had to do was soak my elbows in vinegar and water! Of course, the remedy was just as excruciating as the ulcers themselves. So I took oxycontin an hour before soaking because the burning pain was too much to bear.

By July 2003 the ulcers were gone but they left permanent, hideous scars. I was able to drive by this time and managed to get myself to PWOC. I had to sit during the entire program and went straight home and back to bed after. In March 2004 I was able to discontinue taking prednisone but continued the infusions.

The promise I received from the Holy Spirit back in 2001 about this trial lasting about five years came to pass. From the time I began getting symptoms in January 2000 to the end of 2004 the ordeal was largely over. Five years. After that the recovery process began.

In January 2005 I began weight training for the first time since 2000 and could lift only 10 pounds on the leg extension machine (quadriceps). I’m still working my way up to 90 pounds which is what I lifted before the disease set in. My quadriceps and biceps were the most severely affected muscles in my body.

By May 2005 I no longer needed oxycontin and phenergan for pain and nausea, and I finished the IVIG infusions after 27 months of treatment. It nearly took a miracle for me to receive these costly infusions but God worked it out. By August 2005 my hair had grown back completely. In 2006 I continued serving at my local PWOC.

In October 2007 my rheumatologist declared me cured of dermatomyositis. I stood in front of the PWOC body and gave an impromptu testimony about my healing, and proceeded to cut up the handicapped plaquard once displayed from the rearview mirror of my car. It was an act of faith.

As I recall 1999 when I walked around our Germany apartment praying for God to transform me by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2) I had no idea how He would answer that prayer. I certainly didn’t expect Him to take me down a dark and tangled road. Having endured all this and more, I am convinced we are far better off not knowing the future. Anticipating suffering of this nature would render many of us immobile.

Having persevered and arrived on the other side, I understand why God chose this path for me. It was effective. He used my physical anguish to produce an inward cleansing and strengthening of my heart and soul. As a result, I am free from many old habits, mindsets, and strongholds that kept me from living free in Christ.

There is nothing like a life-threatening illness to get you in a position of dependence, humility, and focus. It creates sober reflection and laser sharp awareness of what really matters in life. The things I thought were important gradually fell away while life itself shone through as the most significant thing of all – that is, eternal life. “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace …”

God taught me many things through my journey of transformation thus far, but rather than sharing some of them in my own words I’ve chosen to let the Word of God speak:

Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word (Psalm 119:67).

Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being (Proverbs 20:30).

I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation (Psalm 118:13-14).

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast (1 Peter 5:10).

(More: Romans 12:1-2; 2 Corinthians 12:8-10; Hebrews 12:1-2; Psalm 103:1-5; Psalm 116:1-7; Psalm 119:71, 75, 92, 116-117; Isaiah 40; Isaiah 55:8-9; Isaiah 61:1-4.)

THE JOURNEY ENDS

It’s my hope that this Journey of Transformation has been a testimony of God’s ways, power, love and grace. I pray that the Holy Spirit used this story to encourage, to educate, and to challenge you. Never cower in the face of grave difficulties, but trust in God’s sovereignty, goodness, and mercy even when everything in you cries out against them. Because when Life Happens – Jesus Answers. May Jesus lead you gently through your own Journey of Transformation.

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Journey of Transformation, Part 28

Jesus Answers, Life Happens, Life Happens Jesus Answers, Real life stories, Testimonies

Jul 012010

Another Emergency

Here we were, back in Colorado Springs in the summer of 2002. We temporarily settled into my parents’ townhome while we waited for our renters to move out of our house. Our Chaplain friend delivered the Honda Accord to us a couple weeks later when he arrived to attend the conference at the Air Force Academy.

Spouses are welcomed to attend the conferences, and I wanted to go so badly but couldn’t quite muster the strength. Most of my days were spent in bed or sitting in a chair. I felt less and less like being up and about. I camped out in the guest room most of the time, sleeping intermittently through each day. I remember hearing strange construction-like noises outside, but the window well blocked my view. It was rare for me to leave that room.

The white calcifications on my fingers could no longer be controlled and they developed into nickel–sized ulcers on my knuckles. The ones that erupted on my elbows were particularly excruciating. The burning pain was more than I could bear and I ended up at the Air Force Academy ER as I had months before. This time the ER staff was so puzzled and horrified by what they saw that they took x-rays of my hands to check for soft tissue abnormalities. Nothing showed.

Because the Air Force rheumatologist wasn’t available to assess me, and they didn’t have room to keep me around for hours, the ER staff redirected me to the ER at Fort Carson. I wondered if they thought I had some bizarre contagious disease that could spread to the whole community. They were far more alarmed than I was. I just needed painkillers again.

When I arrived at Fort Carson the ER staff administered morphine and this time I made sure they gave me an anti-nausea medication to go along with it. They probably gave me prednisone too but I don’t remember that. The anti-nausea medication made me feel weird. When I was being discharged from the ER I wasn’t sure if I should leave. Was this feeling going to subside or was it going to worsen?

Upon attempting to leave post my folks and I drove to a gate that was closed. Being 1 a.m. it was dark everywhere and Fort Carson didn’t have many streetlights. We ended up lost in one of the housing areas and I felt so weird I wanted to get home. Finally, we managed to find our way to the main gate which is always open.

We arrived home around 2 a.m. The anti-nausea medication created a strange sensation in my lungs. I was afraid that if I fell asleep I would stop breathing and die. So I stayed awake until the weird feeling subsided.

By September my health disaster was out of control. Clearly, there was more than lupus ravaging my body. The time had come to take my healthcare to the next level. I needed answers and I needed them fast. Fortunately, God had an awesome rheumatologist waiting in the wings.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES . . . IN SEPTEMBER:

During July and August I will be spending concentrated time with the Lord for refreshment and renewal. I appreciate all of you who faithfully read LHJA each week, and I encourage you to join me in September when the journey continues. In the meantime, bask in the warmth of the Son.

____________________________

Life Happens – Jesus Answers is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org

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Journey of Transformation, Part 27

Jesus Answers, Life Happens, Life Happens Jesus Answers, Real life stories, Testimonies

Jun 172010

God Comes Through

The day of departure had arrived. We left the hotel and drove to the Chaplain’s house where our Accord spent the night. God, knowing exactly what we would need long before our move, served up the perfect provision.

And so it goes . . .

A little background: Chaplains are endorsed by various churches or parachurch organizations that provide support and accountability in their roles as Chaplains within the military. Steve and a fellow Chaplain at Fort Campbell happened to share the same endorser. This endorser, located in South Carolina, was holding its annual conference in Colorado Springs at the Air Force Academy. Our Chaplain friend was planning to attend that conference.

Where were Steve and I headed for our compassionate PCS? Colorado Springs. And our house, which had been rented, was a mere 15-minute drive from the Academy. As it turns out, our Chaplain buddy was glad to drive our Honda Accord to Colorado Springs since he was going there anyway. We paid for his expenses and he flew back after the conference as he had originally planned. This couldn’t have worked out more perfectly for us. And, as an additional point of interest, since that conference in the summer of 2002, the endorser hasn’t held any out west.

I find all this very interesting. None of it was coincidental. It reminds me that I never have a valid reason to fret or worry. God has everything worked out in advance. He knows what I really need when I really need it and delivers it right on time.

Back to the story. My memories tend to be sketchy, but for some reason certain moments in time remain etched in my brain. I clearly remember sitting in the passenger seat of our Honda Pilot (we had traded in the Plymouth Voyager minivan for the Pilot), the door was open, and our Chaplain friend’s wife came over to the car and spoke words of encouragement to me. I was so weak, tired, and miserable that I barely responded. I nodded once, turned my head to face forward, and she closed the door. I hoped she didn’t see me as rude or indifferent but rather desperately ill.

I don’t remember the drive home other than it being long. It was the longest ride of my life. When we pulled into my parents’ driveway they were glad to see me but I just wanted to hit the sack.

The subsequent months would prove agonizing but informative. I finally would get the accurate and complete diagnosis I’d longed for.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:

In a quest to develop my faith I make an effort to notice the things God does for me that I can’t do for myself. I also pay attention to His creation more. Many of us allow ourselves to get so busy that we lose sight of the beauty around us and, in effect, we lose sight of God.

This summer I’m going to pay closer attention to the birds swirling around my deck. I’m going to listen to their songs and watch the clouds float by. I’m going to breathe the fresh air and let God speak to me through His creation. I’m going to embrace a new appreciation for the obvious, yet often dismissed, blessings in my world.

This summer take time to sit. Look. Listen. Enjoy the blessings that surround you and thank God.

____________________________

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Journey of Transformation, Part 26

Jesus Answers, Life Happens, Life Happens Jesus Answers, Real life stories, Testimonies

Jun 102010

A Final Word

A couple weeks before our move to Colorado Springs, Steve preached his last sermon. It was one I had written that he tweaked to make his own, “The Hands and Feet of Ministry.”

I felt compelled to write it in response to my deep heartache over the lack of concern and compassion I’d experienced from fellow Chaplain spouses and others at Fort Campbell. For the first time in my life I was desperate, helpless, and almost hopeless. Yet, despite my plight being widely known, few people provided real help or even offered to pray with me. I felt abandoned by the body of Christ.

As I sat in the front row of that chapel and glanced around to check facial expressions, no one seemed the wiser. The message was well received. Truth be told, many people who needed to hear it didn’t attend that chapel.

Even though I had written the sermon from a place of pain there was no indication of that. It wasn’t about me and my story and no specifics were given. It was delivered from a heart of love and concern. It simply was a message that needed to be shared. And it could be shared again today – with all of us.

As the service progressed, one of the chosen hymns was “Showers of Blessing.” In light of our compassionate early PCS I felt blessed to be headed back to Fort Carson. But I needed more. I felt as though all I had experienced up to that point were trickles, drizzles, and drops of blessings. I wanted the SHOWERS!

As the days passed, my strength and energy ebbed away. I felt less human each week. I was more like a catatonic zombie. Being alive was too much trouble. My facial expressions were dull and lifeless. Sometimes I forced a smile or a short response out of consideration for the person present, but it got to the point where I was too weak to care. I just wanted to go home.

The day before our departure Steve drove our Plymouth Voyager minivan and I drove our Honda Accord to post. The 20-minute drive was all I could stand. A new level of listlessness and lethargy consumed me. We left the Accord at a Chaplain’s house overnight and stayed in a hotel.

I lay on the bed in our hotel room perplexed by the burning sensations in my legs. It felt like little fires beneath my skin. I had no painkillers. It didn’t occur to me to take prednisone for pain. I thought that was for other problems. And I didn’t want to subject myself to it again anyway. I’d have to be dying.

I wasn’t in any condition to go anywhere so Steve walked across the street to get a McDonald’s meal and he grabbed a sundae to go along with it. The ice cream temporarily soothed my emotions but it did nothing to douse the fires in my legs.

I dug through my bag and found some ibuprofen that took the edge off the burn so I could sleep. There was no way I could drive to Colorado the next day. It’s a good thing God had that little detail worked out well in advance.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:

How often do we pass by a sister in need – even when we’re aware of her situation? I wonder how often I’ve done that. I hope not often. Of course, not every person can respond to every need, and certain ministry assignments are intended for certain Christians.

But I think that sometimes we refrain from helping others because we’re afraid of getting involved. We’re afraid it will require too much time or effort. Maybe we’re afraid we’ll catch their disease, or mysteriously end up with their problem. Maybe we’re so committed to “good” things that we “don’t have time” to reach out when a serious need exists. I suspect we assume other people are helping so we don’t need to.

There usually is a core group of helpers. Perhaps each of us needs to ask the Lord what our role is in the realm of helping sisters in need. Then follow through on what He says. In doing so we can be sure we’re involved where we need to be. We can avoid feeling guilty if we are instructed to refrain. We can avoid helping out of obligation. And we can maintain balance and boundaries in our own lives. The most important thing we can do is obey God’s call.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (Colossians 3:17).

____________________________

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Journey of Transformation, Part 25

Jesus Answers, Life Happens, Life Happens Jesus Answers, Real life stories, Testimonies

Jun 042010

Alterations

On Easter Sunday in 2002 I sat at the dining room table in front of my makeup mirror. This was the first time in months that I bothered to apply makeup and the lighting revealed changes in my skin. The texture was no longer smooth and the pores were huge. It looked acne prone but no acne was present. And if that wasn’t enough, I had a beard — a thin layer of light hair or “peach fuzz” outlining my face.

That’s a steroid for ya. It turns men into women and women into men.

I was the unfortunate recipient of prednisone side effects. I’d been using the drug for six months and that was enough to cause damage. As was the case when I discovered bald spots on the back of my head on Steve’s birthday, I tried to make myself look pretty. I felt altered. It took herculean effort to muster a good attitude. I forced a smile at chapel but inside I grieved. Of course, no one else knew the difference, but no one else had my face. I hoped these changes would be reversed if I quit taking prednisone. (I will go ahead and tell you now they never were. Physical changes from prednisone usually are permanent.)

In the meantime I continued my supplement regimen hoping that it would be strong enough to hold off the disease process. But soon my hopes would be dashed. One day in the bathroom I looked down at my legs. They were covered with red-purple blotches. It looked like my blood was trying to escape. Along with this horrifying discovery came irritated elbows and knuckles. Red streaks lined my fingers. An excruciating blend of weakness, pain, and burning attacked my upper arms.

These alarming new developments prompted me to contact Tricare to see if I could get a different rheumatologist closer to Clarksville. They accommodated my request and I managed to get an appointment scheduled for June.

By the time June rolled around my condition deteriorated. Every activity was a chore. I was so listless that even holding my Bible was hard. I didn’t want to listen to the radio. Didn’t want to read. Didn’t want to watch TV. I lay there staring at the ceiling praying to God in my mind, “Lord, I’m too weary to move my lips. Read my heart.”

It wasn’t long before someone recognized the severity of my health. Steve got word that we were being sent back to Fort Carson. It was sort of a compassionate reassignment without the official title. It really was more of a compassionate early PCS. Under normal conditions we would have remained at Fort Campbell for another 6-12 months. God orchestrated this move and had the Army send us back to where I had family and access to better specialists.

Because we only had a month before moving I canceled my appointment with the rheumatologist. What was the point of getting started with a new doctor when I was leaving? I was ready to move on, ready to get back home.

God came through with provisions for our move. It was obvious he had everything worked out ahead of time. Again I would see Him acting on my behalf. Yet, I sense a question circulating, “Why did He allow this to happen to you in the first place?” That question would be answered in months to come.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:

“Why?” It’s a question we find ourselves asking at times, especially when something horrible happens that seems to have no valid purpose or reason. I like to have answers. I like information. I try to figure things out. I need to know that somehow God will replace my ashes with beauty, my grief with joy (Isaiah 61:3).

What I’ve come to accept is that God will always be incomprehensible. God has a plan that involves the universe and I’m a microscopic part of that. God’s plan is something so massive and astounding that I wouldn’t understand it even if He tried to explain it to me. When I get outside myself and acknowledge the fact that life involves things much bigger than me, and recognize that God is God and that He has eternity in mind, my perspective becomes a little clearer.

All I can do is throw myself at His feet in surrender and trust that He will make all the suffering worthwhile. . . . He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end . . . (Eccles. 3:1-9).

____________________________

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Journey of Transformation, Part 24

Jesus Answers, Life Happens, Life Happens Jesus Answers, Real life stories, Testimonies, Uncategorized

May 272010

God and Doctors

God doesn’t often heal people on the spot. He usually heals them through the skilled hand of a physician or surgeon, or he takes them home which is the best healing of all, or he provides other wellness professionals to combat their afflictions.

My mother introduced me to the world of natural medicine through a naturopathic physician who was knowledgeable in nutrition, holistic medicine, and homeopathic remedies. His recommendations helped her so she thought he could help me too.

Upon his first examination he concluded that dermatomyositis seemed like a possibility in a mix of connective tissue diseases. The challenge at this point was nailing it down definitively. That would require additional blood tests performed by my other doctors. But they had either done all they could within their scope of practice or refused to do more. Because the rheumatologist was stuck on lupus based on basic lab tests, he wasn’t willing to test for anything else. So we went with the lupus diagnosis which really didn’t make that much of a difference to the naturopath. Different autoimmune diseases are treated in similar ways. With a blend of multivitamins, powders, liquids, and other healthful substances I launched an attack on the disease from a different angle.

In the meantime, my primary care physician referred me to a nutritionist who concurred with the naturopath that I needed to eat more protein and healthy fats to lower my triglycerides, thereby lowering my heart disease ratio which shot off the chart. Of course this had nothing to do with my autoimmune condition but it was an important piece of information that affected my overall health. In addition, the primary care physician prescribed prednisone which seems to be the go-to drug used for autoimmune diseases. I dreaded its side effects and hoped the supplement program suggested by the naturopath would lessen the effects of the drug. I even hoped the supplements would be effective enough to control the disease so I could quit taking prednisone. That remained to be seen.

Through December and January I continued my treatment plan. By the time February 2002 rolled around Steve made plans to come get me. Turns out he didn’t end up going to Afghanistan after all. So my visit with Judy and the folks would come to an end and my care would be interrupted. At least I wasn’t attached to my rheumatologist. That was no loss. Maybe I would get a new one.

Steve and I stayed for a few days before returning home. On our road trip from Colorado to Tennessee I indulged in Goobers and Raisinettes, crackers, chips and nuts. Hey, the nutritionist and naturopath told me I needed to eat more fat and protein to lower my triglycerides. What better way is there than eating chocolate covered peanuts! I took their advice to heart. It was the yummiest and most painless remedy I’d ever have.

The ensuing months at Fort Campbell would prove interesting. Prednisone damage would show up. The disease would take a new turn. An appointment with a new rheumatologist would be missed. And a compassionate reassignment would be necessary.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:

As I reflect on the events of those years I see clearly how God had everything worked out ahead of time. He does go before us preparing the way. Keep checking in each week to see what He does, how He leads, how He provides. And yes, how He takes me deeper than I’d ever gone before. There’s nothing like constant companions Sorrow and Suffering to take one deeper into the realm of inner change and surrender.

If you are enduring, or have endured, an extremely rough season in your life and you’ve never read the book Hinds’ Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard, I recommend reading it. Watch how the Chief Shepherd transforms little Much-Afraid on her journey to the high places. It will touch your heart.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights (Habakkuk 3:19).

____________________________

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Journey of Transformation, Part 23

Jesus Answers, Life Happens, Life Happens Jesus Answers, Real life stories, Testimonies

May 202010

Clash of the Specialists

It was November 2001 when I landed in the dermatologist’s office. Dr. Honl was kind, compassionate, professional, and deeply concerned about me. Days later I ended up in the rheumatologist’s office. Dr. Linney (name has been changed) wasn’t so concerned.

The battle of the specialists began.

The first time I visited Dr. Honl she carefully examined my skin. When she noticed my shins she asked, “Do you ever use lotion?” I replied, “Yes, but it takes too much energy to get down there and apply it. I don’t do it often.” The skin looked dry and scaly, almost with a marbled, shiny appearance.

She looked at my fingers and toes. Apparently the ulcers that were forming on the bottoms of my big toes did so because circulation was lacking. The Raynaud’s Syndrome was kicking in more and my hands and feet often turned purple. It was hard to keep them warm. The calcifications and burning sensations on my knuckles and finger tips definitely suggested a serious autoimmune problem.

After assessing me completely Dr. Honl announced, “I think you have a connective tissue disease called dermatomyositis. The skin lesions and muscle weakness are consistent with that.” I told her that other doctors stood firm on the diagnosis of lupus. She was certain that these new eruptions were not signs of lupus although there could possibly be some lupus mixed in. Was she correct?

An official diagnosis had to come from a rheumatologist – a specialist who deals with autoimmune diseases. I’d been here before. The rheumatologist I saw in Bowling Green, Kentucky, who seemed more interested in collecting his fees than he was in helping me, was the guy who gave the “official” lupus diagnosis. But now maybe I would have a doctor who would exert some effort in nailing down this mysterious disease process.

Tri Care assigned me to a rheumatologist named Dr. Linney who happened to be the same one my sister saw. Some doctors are better than others and both of us struck out with this one. After examining me he affirmed the standing diagnosis, “You have lupus.” I said, “Dr. Honl, my dermatologist, thinks that I show definite signs of dermatomyositis.” How did he respond?

Dr. Linney’s cold demeanor nearly made me shiver. There wasn’t a hint of warmth or concern in his expression. With a determined arrogance he refused to give Dr. Honl’s diagnosis a second glance. Something was wrong. I sensed in my spirit that this guy was putting his pride before his patient. It was clear to me that he stood firm on his opinion because he couldn’t handle conceding to a dermatologist – a female dermatologist at that. After all, he was the big rheumatologist and he had to be right! But was he?

Power and control. That’s what it was all about. Where did that leave me? I revisited my Merck Manual and read about dermatomyositis. It sounded scary. It could put me in wheelchair. It could take my life. But for the time being, lupus reigned.

A year from this point I finally would have the right answers, but until that time God had more things in store for me – a visit with a naturopathic physician was on the horizon.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES:

Through life’s uncertainties I have learned to lean on Christ. If I never had any problems, if I got all the answers I wanted, and if everyone agreed and got along . . . I’d be living in Pleasantville where everything is black and white. Boring! I want color! I want vibrancy! I want to live.

Regrettably, living involves pain. Living involves unanswered questions. Living involves power struggles between people who won’t agree. Life is a big mystery held in the hands of a big God who has something bigger in mind than we can comprehend. Trusting and waiting are hard, but they are what I must do.

Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him (Isaiah 64:4).

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Older Entries

PWOC International Blog

Sanity in a Three-Ring Binder…Priceless!

Shipwrecked

The Idol of…Sleep?

Journey of Transformation, Part 29 (The End)

It’s a Wrap!

Journey of Transformation, Part 28

Another Emergency

Journey of Transformation, Part 27

God Comes Through

Journey of Transformation, Part 26

A Final Word

Journey of Transformation, Part 25

Alterations

Journey of Transformation, Part 24

God and Doctors

Journey of Transformation, Part 23

Clash of the Specialists

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