Unexpected Discovery
Each day I sat propped up on the bed reading, journaling, and praying. An inviting picture hanging on the wall across from me beckoned to me like a memory luring me back in time. Two white, wooden beach chairs faced forward toward the ocean. Seated on one was a woman wearing a white sun hat with a blue ribbon tied in a bow delicately draping the brim. To her left was a small grove of lacy green trees gracing the scene. As I gazed at the picture I felt warmth from the sun enveloping me with comforting serenity. Memories of Southern California summers breezed through my mind, and for a moment, I missed home. I spent hours studying this scene, wishing I were in it, wondering what my future held.
While the picture on the wall was a silent companion drawing me to another place, God was my ever-present source of comfort and hope. He has often used materials from In Touch Ministries to encourage me. One particular study met the cry of my heart as my condition worsened: Advancing through Adversity by Dr. Charles F. Stanley. God had strategically placed this resource in my hands as a light to guide me through the dark tunnel ahead.
It was March 2001 at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, when the adversity train led me down a new track. Sitting quietly reading I felt an itchy sensation on my bare arms and thought there were bugs in the room. I looked down to see strands of hair that had jumped off my scalp as if retreating from an enemy. When I worked conditioner through my hair in the shower, strands wrapped around my hands like a glove. Using my thumb, I pushed off a golf ball sized wad of hair each day and filled a trash can each week. Along with hair loss came increased fatigue, breathlessness, nausea, loss of appetite, and believe it or not, a severe distaste for chocolate — the most puzzling symptom of all. I assumed these unfortunate signs were members of the lupus family. According to what I read they belonged.
The day came when my assumption proved false. While getting dressed I looked down and noticed my abdomen protruding. As I stood sideways next to the mirror and mentally recalled my new symptoms one by one it dawned on me … I had missed two periods. What I had been experiencing the previous four weeks wasn’t lupus at all. I was pregnant.
Questions whirled around me like wind gusts trying to knock me down, “Will my immune system attack the fetus? Am I healthy enough to do this? I don’t even have a definite diagnosis yet. God, what are you up to?” Steve’s classes were about to end, we’d drive back to Tennessee, and he would head off to Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, for the last phase of school. We made arrangements for me to stay with a friend if necessary.
In the meantime, I kept the little discovery to myself as we prepared to drive back to Fort Campbell, Kentucky. I marveled at the fact that neither Steve nor I knew I was pregnant during the entire month we were together. It was God’s secret until now, and I couldn’t help but wonder what was around the corner. It’s a blessing that I didn’t know in advance.
THE JOURNEY CONTINUES …
Welcome back to Life Happens – Jesus Answers in 2010. For those of you who are new to this column, I’m in the process of sharing my personal journey of transformation that has occurred over the last decade. You can get caught up from the beginning of the journey by accessing previous entries in Life Happens – Jesus Answers under “categories”.
Remember, in this new day of a new month in a new year and a new decade, God is doing a new thing, and He always has the best in mind for you no matter what your circumstances might be (Isaiah 43:18-19; Romans 8:28-30). People change and things change, but Our Lord is steadfast, faithful, and unchanging. As you walk with Him this year, rely on the truth of Scripture. Rely on His consistent love and grace. Rely on His strength and stability. But most of all rely on Him.
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“Life Happens – Jesus Answers” is a weekly column addressing the challenges we face in life, coupled with the presence and grace of Jesus, our One True Source of hope and peace. The column’s author, Laura Firtko, can be reached by email here: LifeHappens@pwoc.org
